I FEEL YOU || Sᴛᴇᴠᴇ Rᴏɢᴇʀꜱ

thirteen

Controlled

I looked at the duo as they exchanged a few words within each other. The winged man seemed determined to attack, Captain, not so much.

"You don't think we can beat her?" the man with wings raised his eyebrows at Captain America.

"You want to close her in a cell?" the other one responded.

"Exactly." the first one stated as if it was obvious.

"That'll happen only if she wants to." Captain sighed.

"And why is that?"

Captain just heavily sighed and kept his eyes fixed on me.

"He's not wrong." I said as I charged towards them.

They both played more defense, just like the girl from before. We fought for quite a while, until I felt sharp pain in the back of my neck. I shot a strong beam of scarlet towards both of the men I've been fighting and pushed them away from me. I immediately turned around to face the red metal suit again.

In that moment, when I stopped fighting, I could see the battlefield around me. All the soldiers were dead, except for Number 1, Loki and I. Loki was fighting his brother and Number 1 was fighting the redhead and a man.

While fighting, I didn't even realize our soldiers were killed so fast. Thanos underestimated the Avengers and sent us on a suicide mission. Loki was right.

"It's over. I hoped it wouldn't come to this." the man said and I felt more sharp pain in my stomach. I looked down to see multiple needles sticking out of me, blue liquid getting into my body. I was determined to win, yes, but I wasn't stupid. We've lost.

My jaw clenched from anger and disappointment as I fell down on my knees, my vision getting blurry until everything went black.

...

"Anastasya? Anastasya are you okay? Can you hear me?" I heard someone calling my name. My arms and legs felt sore and I barely had the strength to open my eyes.

I sat up to find myself in a glass cell, one at the compound. But this wasn't an isolation cell, it was a prison cell.

I looked towards the voice calling my name and I saw Bucky in the cell just a few feet in front of mine.

"Bucky?"

"Oh, hi, you're finally awake." he let out a sigh of relief "I was scared you would react badly to the activation because of your last one. I guess we're lucky it wasn't a long one. It was a day or two max, I'm guessing, since the pain isn't that bad." he sadly smiled across the room "Do you know why we are here? What did we do? I mean, I know you don't I just mean like, what-"

"I do." I said. To his and my own suprise. "I remember. Almost everything, really."

"You do?" he shot me a confused look.

"Yes. I don't know how but, I feel like I do." I said looking at the floor. I never felt like this. I never felt this guilt that came with doing all the terrible stuff I did while activated. Hell, I didn't even remember what I did because they restarted us after every mission. Until now. Now I felt it all.

My hands started to shake and I became dizzy. The cell was spinning around me and all I could hear is multiple people calling my name. I reached out towards the wall to steady myself. As soon as I felt steadiness of the wall I leaned myself completely against the wall, slowly sliding to the floor. I sat on the floor, my head in my hands, thinking about what we just did. What I just did.

We attacked the Avengers. My friends. My family. I could've killed Tony if Steve wasn't there. I could've killed Steve if Wanda didn't show up. I could've killed Wanda... I might have killed Wanda. Did I kill Wanda?

Realization kept on hitting me again and again, harder and harder. I almost killed my friends. All because of Hydra. No...no, all because of Thanos. Thanos.

The sound of the door opening broke me from my thoughts.

"Ana.." I heard a whisper and soon enough two strong arms were wrapped around me "you're okay now. You're safe."

"Rogers!!" another voice entered the room containing the two cells "Cap I swear to God I'm gonna put you back on ice."

"Steve..." the word got out of my mouth as I thought about what I almost did to him. How easy it seemed to kill him. "No.." I said louder, looking up at him as he removed his chin that was resting on my head "No!"

"Ana what are you..." Steve said looking up at me. I was standing as far from him as I could, my back leaning on the wall "...what's wrong?" he asked, worry in his eyes.

"I could hurt you. I almost killed you." I said through my teeth, holding back tears "I was so close to killing you. Why are you even here?"

Steve sadly sighed "Because I..."

He was interrupted by someone else walking into the cell "Rogers." I looked up to see Tony "Out. Now."

"Tony..." his name got out of my mouth as a whisper just like Steve's did as I remembered that I almost killed him too.

"Yes, I'm here. It's me." he sighed "It's nothing personal." he said getting out and locking the cell again "I just don't like your band demolishing my property." he said and left the room.

Steve still stood there, looking at me with his eyes full of tears. He then looked down at his feet, turned around and left the room.

"An?" Bucky called my name after a minute of silence.

I looked at him. He was sitting on the floor, facing me.

"It's gonna be alright, okay? We are going to get through this, as we always do." he smiled.

I scoffed "I don't know, Buck, this time it's different."

"How so?"

"This time I know exactly what I did and...who I did it to. I don't know if you get it. I almost killed Steve and I remember everything I felt in that moment. And Wanda... I don't even know if she's alive. I think I still feel it. The hate. The anger." I sighed "And the worst part is that I feel like I could do it again."