The morning came and Jon looked up, all he could do was thinking about this letter. He was sad, angry and afraid and all because he became a kinslayer, a murderer of babies.
"Dany" he whispered. "Why didn't you tell me ?". He talked with her ghost, the more he thought about it the more he became mad.
When he got up out off his bed he looked at the letter and read over and over again. Sure he had nothing to except to watch over Ghost, but he felt broken and angry at himself, at Dany's fear, at Sam's revelation, at Sansa at almost everyone, and that left him with deep scars in his heart.
He tried to stop himself from thinking about when he hear a knock on the door.
"Come in." Jon said and saw Tyrion entering the room while hiding the letter in his pocket.
"How did you spend your night ?" Tyrion aked him as usuall.
"Better then I thought." Jon lied to him and Tyrion noticed that there is something wrong with him.
"You don't like this room ?" Tyrion was curious.
"I am just afraid of the sigil." Jon forced a smile to make it look like he was telling the truth.
After some moments Tyrion started to explain things as usuall.
"The Three Headed Dragon," Tyrion called it, "the sigili of House Targaryen, everyone who doesn't some Valyrian blood is afraid of it, afraid of their dragons.". Tyrion was watching Jon and said, "You shouldn't be afraid of it, if you don't like this sigil you can replace it with your own personal sigil that would represent you." Tyrion was honest.
Hours passed and went for a walk throught King's Landing alone. He wanted to be alone and to get some air, while he was walking, the commoners passed by and thanked him for saving their lives. Of course they would, he was their hero but he didn't feel as one, all he could do was forcing smiles at the people while thinking to himself that he far from a hero they think he is.
'Fools,' Jon thought, 'I did, I was the one who burned down this city.'. Jon felt guilt. 'You should curse me and ask my death.'. He wanted them to hate him, to blame him for the destruction of their city but no the people just cheered him for what they saw ten years ago, a honorable soldier who protected the innocent.
But no, Jon thought to himself, he wasn't a hero, he wasn't their King, he was just another Mad Targaryen who treated those people as slaves. And those thoughts were killing his soul. When looked at his hands, he noticed how they were shaking, noticed that fear for being cheered as his love of his life was once cheered in Essos.
How couldn't he see that, how could have let that happen.
He went outside the city to find some rest, he thought about how things could have been different if.... if just she told him and everyone else about the child she carrying under her heart, their child. He thought about how he could have saved everyone and her lives at same time if only wasn't soo stupid and weak to engage in an incestrous relationship, to not let her be alone in this world and instead it only made it a mess, he felt like he was cursed, that he tried to love someone, just dies in his arms and all that because of a letter.
