Reject (mxm)

Chapter Six: Ruari

"I know you're uncomfortable coming back here,"

I laughed at that. I had to. It wasn't funny, nothing about this situation is. But it was either laugh or cry in rage.

"I meant to tell you after you had some time to rest and relax. The truth is, I can't allow you to live alone anymore Ruari. It's too dangerous."

Rothe growled at the word 'dangerous'. It's not our favorite word.

"What do you mean?"

"Someone's been attacking werewolves. There'd been night raids, casualties. They haven't attacked the compound but there'd been attacks on the neighboring packs. News about certain pack members going missing is spreading. I'm confident they won't be able to infiltrate our territory but..." His breath hitched as he turned his face away. I can tell he's debating whether he should tell me the rest of the story or not.

"But..." I urged him to go on. I want to know what I'm walking into. So far I still don't see the need for me to stay here with the pack. If anything I should leave before I get caught in the crossfire.

He looked anxiously at me before continuing, "They've been sending threats." I raised one inquiring brow and he sighed, "They're threatening you." That gave me pause.

It felt like a blow in the gut. What could those people possibly want with someone like me? I was the lowest ranked wolf of the pack before I went rogue. I have no special abilities and before I came back no one knew I could shift. Why would they bother threatening a nobody like me? Unless they see me as someone important, like a bait or a means to make someone cave.

"I don't know how they found out you're my mate or how they know you're not with me but they've been looking for you." Ciaran finished confirming my suspicion. "I can't let you live alone anymore. I'm sorry."

"I am capable of defending myself!" I scoffed. I don't need anyone to protect me, especially not him. I've been protecting myself my whole life. If there's a threat Rothe and I would deal with it on our own. We don't need Ciaran to meddle. Who gives him the right to decide what's best for me?

"I know you are. And you've been doing a fine job of it." He said, moving to stand in front of me.

I know he's just trying to pacify me and I don't like it. I took a cautious step back but Ciaran reached out to cup my cheek, softly running his thumb over my parted lips.

"I should let you leave. Allow you to go and hide on that place you've been to these past five years. But I can't risk it. I don't want to. I want you here, with me, where I can keep my eyes on you."

"You mean to keep me a prisoner!" I snarled slapping his hand away. If he thinks he could keep me here against my will then he'd be disappointed.

"No!" He protested grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me closer to him. I turned my face away but he held it gently in between his hands giving me no choice but to look at him. I was too shocked and weak against him to do otherwise.

"I want you safe. I admit, I want you here for selfish reasons but not the ones you think." He let one of his hands fall from my face to hold my hand and twine our fingers. He touched our foreheads together and placed his free hand to cradle the back of my neck.

Since when have Ciaran been gentle with me? Since when did he have that look in his eyes like I'm the most important person to him? Like he's afraid to let me go?

"I can't think straight when I'm reminded that you're out there alone, fending for yourself. I'm always afraid because I don't know where you are, if you're safe or not." He whispered hoarsely. "We're at war Ruari and one mistake could spell death to a lot of people. They're threatening to take you. What am I supposed to do? I'm keeping you here because I'm selfish and arrogant enough to think I could protect you."

This has to be a joke! There is no way this is the same Ciaran who hated me for being his mate, the one who wished for my death. There's has to be some trick to this situation that I'm not seeing.

"Please Ruari," Ciaran's lips were now a breath away from mine. "Stay..."

I don't know when he moved this close but it doesn't matter. What happened next was beyond my control anyway. His lips closed on mine and the walls I built around my heart came tumbling down just like that.

The kiss was gentle, coaxing and patient. Ciaran didn't demand entry to my mouth until I opened to him on my own. He tangled our tongues slowly, softly. His touch was so delicate, so careful I wanted to cry from the sincerity laced on it. He didn't invade but he explored, every crevice and curve. He tasted like home. His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer, molding our bodies together. And my hands went to his hair, my fingers tangling on his thick black hair.

It felt right. Being held and kissed by Ciaran is a dream come true. He made it seem like the separation of five years were nothing, nonexistent. He didn't steal my breath like I was afraid he would instead he sustained it. He enveloped me with his warmth, made me feel desired and cherished, loved even.

Loved?

My mind snapped out of its entranced state at the sudden thought of love. Ciaran doesn't love me. He never will. How could I forget what he did to me? How could I forget the look of disgust in his eyes and the anger in his voice when he rejected me?

"What are you plotting?" I growled pushing him away taking a few steps back for good measure.

For now he wants me here, safe. I don't know his reasons but I'm going to find out. I'll play along if that's what he wants. I'll stay but I will not let my guard down. I shouldn't forget he's just like them. He wants me dead. He said so himself. And no matter how seductive and irresistible he seems I should not be fooled. He burned me once and I cannot go through that again. Never!

"You don't trust me, I understand. But you have to believe me Ruari. I want you unharmed and secured." He looked hurt, desperate. But even I know those emotions could be faked if you're good enough to try. "I won't ask for another chance when I know I don't deserve it. But I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I made that mistake once and I will not do so again."

I looked at him and tried to see the lie, any hint of deception but there was none. He's telling the truth? No, he can't be!

My body started to shake. I'm afraid. Of what, I don't know. But my heart is beating hard in my chest and I've never been this terrified in my whole life.

"What are you trying to say?" I choked out.

What he did next was unexpected. He smiled. He flashed me a genuine caring smile that sent sweet tingles down my spine making my head spin and my knees weak. It's not the mocking, calculating smile he used to have. This one is a smile reserved only for me.

"I'm giving you a fair warning Ruari. I know it won't be easy but I'm not going to change my mind." He said, his heated gaze meeting my questioning one.

Why does he have to look so damn seductive all the fucking time? Why can't he look like the devil? But then, Lucifer is a beautiful angel before he became the devil. Maybe it's not a good idea to think of Ciaran as the devil. A beautiful demon intent on doing evil and naughty things... NO! Oh god what the hell am I thinking? This is not the time for daydreams. This whole situation is not good for my heart!

"You can try to delay the inevitable but from your reaction to the kiss we just shared I doubt you'd succeed." He traced the line of my neck with his fingers, lingering on the part where he's supposed to mark me, before stepping back. "I'm determined to win you back. You're mine Ruari. I will not give up no matter how long or how hard you try to push me away."

Holy crap! He's not serious, is he?