Underground (Levi x Reader)

Light

She spoke again, her voice quieter and serious and sad. "I was just enjoying the calm before another day of storm."

I leaned over, my arms still resting on the side of the tub, and dangled the fingers of one hand into the now lukewarm water of the bath. I began to circle my fingers around in the water, watching as the movement created small ripples on the surface of the water that lapped at (F/N)'s bare skin. Finally, I said, "Hard to imagine a world without storm when all you've ever known your entire life is that hell, isn't it?"

I could feel her staring at me intently, but I kept my gaze on the water, still moving my fingers idly through the liquid. I didn't want to meet her gaze. Not now. I didn't want her to see the pain, the despair that I knew had surfaced in my eyes at my words. I couldn't help it. With her, I couldn't hide the truth nearly as well as I could with everyone else. She did that to me. Because I knew she understood the yearning I felt. The intense desire to see a world with no more suffering, no more desperate fighting for survival. I just wanted to live. Was that too much to ask?

I felt (F/N)'s hand cover mine, stopping my rhythmic movements. Her skin was soft from being submerged in the warm water, and her fingers were gentle as she laced them between my own. Her touch, the fact that she was here, assuaged the feelings of darkness that were beginning to creep upward in my throat just a fraction, the darkness that was desperately trying to suffocate me.

I forced a blankness across my face again before I finally looked up at her, meeting her worried gaze with a flat expression. I couldn't let her see. She'd only worry.

"Levi."

I still wasn't used to her using that name again. My name. Every time it fell from her lips, I was reminded once again of how much I had missed hearing her say my name all these years. How much I had missed her.

She spoke again, sadness and defeat lacing her words. "Don't hide from me. Please. Talk to me. Like when we were kids."

I ground my teeth in frustration at her words. I wanted to tell her everything, I did. I wanted it to be like it used to be between us, but it never could be. She didn't understand. I couldn't let her in. I couldn't expose her to the darkness that hid within me, the same darkness that came back every night to haunt me and woke me, leaving me shaking and out of breath. I wouldn't expose her to that.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and dropped my gaze from hers, feeling suddenly defeated. She wouldn't understand what I was about to say, but it was all I could give her at this point. I had to keep her safe. "I'm not trying to hid things from you (F/N). I'm just trying to protect you." I flicked my eyes up to hers again, trying to will her to understand where I was coming from, even though this was killing me too. I squeezed her fingers between mine to give myself courage. "Everything I've ever done, it was only to protect you."

And it was the truth. I'd never wanted anything more than I wanted her safety and happiness. Forever.

She sat in silence for a few seconds, and I wondered what she was thinking. Finally, she scooted over to the edge of the tub and, taking my face in her hands, her skin warm and damp against mine, the water dripping down her forearms and onto the front of my shirt, said sternly, "Listen to me." I felt her tighten her hold on me slightly. "Levi Ackerman, you have spent your entire life watching out for me. And I can never thank you enough. But you have to stop."

I felt the surprise flash across my face at her stern command. She didn't honestly think I could stop protecting her after all this time did she? She was the only thing in this world that got me through all the hell, and I would never give up protecting the one thing that held my sanity in place, the one person I cared about above all others.