Colors | Chara x Papyrus

Chapter Thirteen: Embrace Every Color

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After that awakening, Chara decides she has had about enough of dancing around, of quick conversations, of ducking into her room to hide whenever he exits his.
"Papyrus, take me somewhere." Chara keeps her eyes glued just above his, because she can't stand to look into them right now, waving away the rules of respectful conversation. "Please."
He's shocked momentarily. Not surprising, only recently did she actually start speaking to him again. He outshines the previous look with a smile, and Chara curses the sudden weakness in her knees.

It's a walk, boring and uneventful into the town center. Awkward too, because Chara can hardly keep a conversation and Papyrus can't seem to do so either, so they saunter in silence until they come across that Shopkeeper lady Chara vaguely remembers.
"DO YOU WANT ONE, CHARA?" She says yes because she can't say no, and the lack of speaking can brushed off by the fact that they're enjoying a bisicle. He only buys one, and breaks it in half for them to share.
It's completely normal to do, something between even mere acquaintances to save G. Still, Chara's heart sends a rough kick to her ribs.
He thanks her when they get home, saying he enjoyed himself.
     "I WAS WORRIED THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE WITH ME ANYMORE! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY DISAPPOINTING IF THAT WAS TRUE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS LOVES BEING WITH YOU CHARA!" Then he looks like he's about to say something serious, face suddenly unsure and nervous and Chara can't take it. She's worried he'll say he thought she didn't care about him anymore, and knowing that would crush her.
      She grabs him by the sleeve his shirt, tropical and baggy, then it takes a few blinks to make eye contact.
      "I appreciate you and everything you've done for me, Papyrus," Chara hears the subtle quake in her voice, but presses on. "I just haven't been feeling well lately, it's not you, it could never be you, because..."
     The I love you is stuck. Stuck. Heavy and sweet under her tongue like a spoonful of sugar.
     "All you ever do is make me feel better," is what she says instead, and her stomach lurches at his smile.

- - -

     Remaining in her room, cooped up and pitiful concerns him, so Chara stops doing it. It's difficult because he notices, and starts waiting on the couch for her every morning. Sometimes he's made her a breakfast she's often afraid to touch despite his improvements in culinary, and other times he just wants to sit at her side and flip through TV channels. Chara prefers those mornings, because they're quiet and Papyrus, surprisingly, never disturbs the peace.
     He's always extra close those mornings, too, pressed against her, maybe an arm draped across the pillows cushioning her head, maybe a hand mere inches from hers. It's never closer than that, and it pisses Chara off.
He used to know no bounds, and would hold her close despite her glares because he knew. He always knew when she was blue or red or aqua or anything or everything.
Chara should be glad, he believes there's nothing wrong and that means her emotions aren't as apparent as they seem, or, the less favored, he knows and doesn't know how to go about it.
     Chara isn't sure if she's ready to wait and find out which is right.

It's a month later before Chara tries her luck again.
"I want to take you somewhere, are you free?" Of course she already knew he was.
"YES! THE GREAT PAPYRUS ALWAYS HAS TIME FOR YOU, CHARA!"
It's moments like these when Chara is convinced he does know. He knows that her feelings for him stretch far like the branches of a tree, edging towards the clouds, invasive.
"Good," is all she can manage, because her voice is on a trampoline, her face is hot, and it's all just orange, orange, orange.
Chara takes him to a park, abandoned and secluded. Papyrus has a hard time getting there, because it's hidden under a canopy of trees that are a little too low for him. In the midst of struggling, he asks when and how she found this place. A question Chara ignores because she can't tell him that it was her escape whenever he wouldn't leave the house.
He seems to enjoy himself despite using all of the equipment incorrectly. Chara watches him from her perch on the jungle gym without much fuss from Papyrus because everything seems to distract him as if he's some five-year old.
He all of the sudden wants to ride the seesaw but finds he can't by himself and urges Chara over. She missteps on her climb down and falls off the gym, and since the world is so insistent on her eternal suffering, Papyrus manages to be quick enough to stand, reach out, and catch her with impossible ease.
"ARE YOU OKAY, CHARA?" She impulsively wrapped her arms around his neck because why wouldn't she? Maybe she loves abusing herself and hasn't realized it yet.
"Yes, yes I'm fine." Too stern, she sounds in pain, which she is, but it may be a little more complicated than Papyrus thinks.
     And now she hasn't the slightest what he's thinking because he's void of naive shouts, staring her down, perplexed. It's enough to get her full attention on the situation. Up, in Papyrus' arms, close, very close, too close.
     "Can you—?"
     "WE SHOULD GO HOME." The words jet out of his mouth and Chara's back on the ground before she can even process. There's a warmth secure in her hand that she can't drop, and that's when she notices their fingers have suddenly intertwined.
     This is normal, she has to remind herself. Before.. this, Chara had no problem latching to Papyrus like a lifeline. She'd hug him tight, rest her head against his shoulder, and take his hand, with ease. Ease that seems so distant now, like a dream that felt so lifelike her body pretended it was real.
    Chara misses it. Misses the simplicity of her life post-love. She feels a sudden urge to eradicate and start over, and Chara hopes to shove the thought so far down that eventually it'll be unrecognizable.
"YOUR HANDS ARE VERY SWEATY," he points out, and Chara refuses to utter a single word the remainder of their walk home.
She misses the feel of his hand against hers however, so she takes it more often.