Sugar. Why not?

Feelings Uploading

Hiding in the nearest office, I lock the door and lean on the edge of a desk. If anyone wants to complain that I'm in their office then I'll fire them because this whole place is mine and I'm in no mood to be fucked with.

My aggravation lessens as I click on her messages.

Sofia: THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH YOU OVER GENEROUS ASSHOLE

Oh shit! I'm an idiot! I should have told her that I was going to put money in her bank. Another distinction between her and the other women is right in front of my face. Any of them would have just checked the money was there and then blocked me. But not Sofia. No, she's enraged by what I've given her. I love it!

Well, I don't love it that much because it looks like she's mad at me. No kiss-

Sofia: XX

There they are. Phew. God I'm going soft because of this women. Missing kisses on the end of a message. Fuck sake, what is she doing to me? And why do I like it so much?

There's no time to think about that right now because I have to fix my stupid mistake. I don't want to overwhelm her.

Hmm...maybe I can take her to my apartment tonight if she'll let me. I can show her that I'm not so snobby and cook whatever her favourite food is.

First, I think I need to apologise to her for depositing the money into her bank like I've done with the others. I really should have asked first but I guess it's just habit. I don't think I'll tell her that I've actually given her more than the normal amount because that could only freak her out more. What can I say? I couldn't help it...I want to make her happy and money is the way I'm usually good at achieving that. Money equals happiness for most people but for Sofia I'll need to work harder than that.

I'll need to give her my affection and care to make her smile. Me...making her smile by just being myself. Who would have thought it...

That makes me desperate to see her again. I want to see her laughing and watch her eyes light up because it's gives me a feeling that I cannot explain.

It makes me sad to think about the fact that one day she will move on. She will have no use for me eventually and find a man that she can live her life with.

Until then I'll try to make her as happy as I can. I'll look after her and let her infectious smile numb the feeling of loneliness eating its way through my heart.

The world is cruel. Matching me perfectly with a women that can never fully be mine.

For now though...I can pretend.

Sofia's POV

Patrick: I'm really sorry Darling. I should have discussed it with you this morning. I know it's a lot but I want you to have it. I want to give you so much more but I'll control myself I promise xx

More? What? No way! I'm not even sure what I'm going to do with the money I have. Pay off student loans? Pay my bills? All things I should definitely do but I still feel weird about it. I know this was the whole reason I signed up. That and curiosity. I guess I just never thought it was actually going to happen.

It kind of scares me but I'm not mad at Patrick. He's just doing what he usually does and I am extremely grateful.

Sofia: Its just a lot to take in I guess. I'm freaking out a little but we can definitely talk about it next time I see you xx

Which I hope is soon. Very soon. I'm not sure if there's a certain rule to do with how much I get to see him. Is there a limit? Do we do normal relationship things or won't he want that? Maybe he will just want to fuck me a couple times a week. The thought makes me a little sick because it wouldn't make sense with the things he's said to me. I guess I should think more positively.