two weeks

morning

———DEREK———

I open my eyes to sunshine that's just a little bit too bright. My face feels damp and tight from crying as I remember last night. I turn to Liam but he's still asleep. Jesus, he's adorable. His mouth is slightly open and his arms protect his chest. Protecting it from me, I think sadly. His little face reminds me of the sleepovers we'd had together up until eighth grade, up until my dad ruined everything. It wasn't him, it was you. I remember how much I treasured every moment with Liam, how he was my treasure. Not in a straight way, like I am now. Then I had to destroy everything and tell my dad how I was in love with my best friend. He'd freaked out, banished me from being around Liam ever again. I was sent to "summer camp", also known as conversion therapy. He told me if I ever had another one of those "phases" again, he'd send me back there permanently. He ended up leaving me and my mother a month later, and then she left me because it was my fault. I'm still scared that someday I'll turn gay again and he'll find me and do what he said. I wonder if Liam knows I'm with fosters now, it's been two years since we've talked. Two years. Since then, I've seen him get beaten up everyday in the halls by my friends. Everyday, he would still greet me with a smile and wave. I never returned that. Everyday. For two years. I shake my head, I don't want to start crying again. I step softly to his bedside and tuck a stray bit of dark brownish-black hair behind his ear. I swear, he hasn't cut it since eighth grade. I put my hands lightly on his shoulders and shake him carefully awake. His gorgeous eyes flutter open and stare into my eyes, first with fear and then with joy. I scared him.

     "I'm sorry," I whimper, trying again not to cry. I start to pull my arms away but he smiles and grabs my hands.

     "You did nothing wrong," he whispers, but I disagree. I've done everything wrong since the day I first met him. He holds my hands carefully and reluctantly releases them. I linger there for a second and pull them away.

    "Well, good morning sunshine," I say, trying to seem happy. He cracks a wide white-toothed grin.

     "Sunshine?" He asks, still overjoyed. Shit, did I actually say that out loud?

    "Jeez, I'm sorry, I-" I stammer but he cuts me off with a bigger smile.

     "No! I like it! Now I just have to come up with a cute nickname for you," he says with a wink, making my heart flutter. Not that I like him or anything, what? He hops out of his bed and pulls on a T-Shirt. I won't lie, it kinda freaked me out seeing him without a shirt. Don't get me wrong, he's perfect, (I'm straight,) but I'll never be good enough for him (in a totally 100% definitely totally straight way). "Like what you see?" He says with a grin. I snort and he rolls his eyes.

"Let's go, you dork," I say with a half smile. We head down to the lobby, this time taking the stairs, and sit on a bench. The buses will show up and take us to the actual reserve soon, but they aren't here yet. I attempt to make small talk with Liam (which doesn't work) when a girl walks over to us, dragging another girl by her hand.

"Hey Tasha!" Liam says to girl one, a gorgeous woman with warm brown skin and the coolest hair I've ever seen. It's so curly, I wish mine was like that. The other girl, who Tasha announces is Ollie, is her exact opposite. She's shy, pale, twiggy, and has stringy blond hair. Liam chats with them while I sit and stare at my feet. It sucks having social anxiety and and when the only friends you have are three guys who are total assholes and a super sweet kid who you know you're going to hurt someday. Tasha and Ollie leave, their bus has arrived.

"So they're dating, apparently," says Liam, sounding pleasantly surprised. I realize that I never did come out to him as gay (when I was) and what he would think of it. I know he's not straight but I'm not sure what he is. I nod and smile but stare off distantly. I feel him lightly put his hand on my knee.

"Are you okay?" He asks, sounding stressed. I turn towards him to see three guys coming up behind him, Gus, Tom, and Tyler. My "friends."

"Oh no."

———LIAM———

Today has been great. First, I get waken up by a literal angel and then learn my best friend finally got a girlfriend! Derek is turning out to be so sweet, he apologizes to me every four seconds. God, do I miss eighth grade when him and I were closer than close. He's letting me touch him again, that's good. When I grabbed his hands this morning I was half expecting him to have a stroke. However, he seems anxious now. I have my hand rested on his knee but he looks purely terrified.

"Oh no," he murmurs, staring over my shoulder. I turn around and see Tom, Tyler, and Gus heading towards us. Tom and Tyler are the absolute worst. They're the ones who've hurt me everyday for the past two years, calling me the worst things every time they see me. They're the reason my smiles are almost always fake, the ones I make around Derek and Tasha being exceptions. Gus, however, isn't too bad. With his two friends he's just as bad, but by himself he's okay.

"Hey, faggots," says Tyler, shoving Derek into me so he has space on the bench. Tom snorts and Gus cracks a grin.

"So, Derek, did you tell your little boyfriend here why you two are partners?" Hisses Tom, earning a snort from Tyler. Derek's face drains of color and behind the bench I comfortingly squeeze his hand so the assholes don't see. "I'll take that as a no," he hisses.

"I guess Liam the Loser never noticed how him and I were supposed to be partners, he was too lustful for Derek," grumbles Gus.

"Don't fucking call him that!" Bursts out Derek, jumping to his feet. I notice how his hands are balled into fists and that his knuckles are so white even Ollie would blend in with them.

"Derek, it's okay. He probably doesn't even know what that means, after all, he probably spent a week studying that sentence. Tell me, Gus, what does lustful mean? I mean, you should be eloquent enough to tell me," I snap back at him. I try to sound brave but I feel myself panicking.

"Here's something eloquent for you," says Tyler, pronouncing eloquent like elephant. "Tom and your boyfriend were supposed to be partners but he switched to be with you," he says, batting his eyelashes.

"Did it ever occur to either one of your two brain cells that maybe he switched because you're an asshole?"

Tyler grabs the front of my shirt and lifts me to my feet. Derek jumps towards him but Tom grabs him by the back of his head. Derek punches him in the mouth just as Tyler lunges for me. I duck out of the way, I'm not strong but I'm fast. Gus jumps toward me and gets a good punch in on my nose. I feel it crack and mentally add another break to my list. Tom punches Derek in the ribs, hard, and tosses him away like garbage. He tries to stand back up but his ankle doesn't look too good. Tom hits me in the stomach, hard, while Gus slaps me in the face. Tyler drops me and I curl into the fetal position. The three of them start kicking me but all I can think about is Derek. I can hear him yelling for help, for someone to do something, but it's distant. Suddenly, it's gone.