Pools of Emerald (frostiron fic)

Part 15 (so sorry everyone)

Tony Stark hadn't left his home in days. He kept himself busy with project after project, just to quiet the fury burning in his mind. Anger swirled through him constantly. He would think to himself "how could Loki be so god-damn selfish." He was beginning to even wonder why he was letting it bother him so much. Just months ago, the two were sworn enemies... who cares if something happened to him?

...

Every single conversation the two have had, flooded back into Tony's brain.

Every time something happened, the first thing Tony thought to do, would be to tell Loki.

Every time the door swings open, there's a glimmer of hope it would be Goat Horns standing there.

Why does he care so much?

It had been weeks since Loki had spoken to Tony. For all Tony knows; Loki is long gone somewhere, or dead. And deep down (not as deep as he'd like to think) it makes him feel sick not knowing. Maybe a tinge of guilt, for being so harsh and pushy.

Repress.

Repress...

Face burning red, seeing stars, Tony, without hesitation; punches a hole right through the wall.

But he doesn't care does he? Why would he care about someone like Loki.

...

Loki opens his eyes, to an unfamiliar setting. Which unnervingly enough, he was used to at this point. He sat up and looked around. His sober mind felt uneasy. The first person that pops into his head is always Tony. Loki grabs the sides of his head and squeezes until his ears ring. "Fuck." He murmurs under his breath. He just wants it to end. Everything. The feelings, the memories, life itself. He pushed away the one person he cared about; but it is truly miserable to love somebody, and they can never love you back. To love another man, truly abominable. Loki looked around the dingy bedroom and saw the empty space in the queen sized bed next to him. Alone again. Life begins alone and ends alone. Loki stumbled out of bed trying to find the exit from the house, or apartment, or wherever the fuck he was. Celeste? If he's remembering her name correctly, was nowhere to be found. As if he could give a shit about her, he was wasted beyond belief.

Loki eventually paced around long enough to find his way out. Sitting on the porch was Celeste. He knew that fiery red hair anywhere, even in a hungover stupor. Celeste jerked her head around quickly, as if forgetting she had company. Her cigarette fell to the ground into the nearest sewer grate.

"Shit you scared me." She rolled her eyes, digging in her bag for a fresh cigarette.

"Sorry." Loki murmured. "I didn't realize you'd be out here. I thought maybe you left."

"Ah trying to get out quick before running into me. I get it." She snickered.

"No it's not that." Loki stopped himself before continuing on. It wasn't even worth the energy to argue, since he wasn't being honest anyways. The last thing he wanted to do was stay and have pillow talk. Hell, he can hardly remember anything after the cab ride.

"Well I won't keep you, looks like you have more important things to go do." She smirked. She was sassy, and didn't hold back. Loki admired that for sure.

"I really don't know what I'm going to do but I need to do something. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." He has already begun walking away as he was speaking to her.

"Yeah I guess we'll see."

...

The hardest part for Loki, was the ups and downs. One minute he'd be fine, the next minute he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. He needed a damn drink, or a bump, or a razor blade, a hit of this a hit of that; anything to stop his head from spinning. Everyone has something they use to take the pain away. He's either on top of the world, and nothing can stop him... or he's at an all time low wishing he could just end it all. But unfortunately for him it never works out to plan. He still wanted Tony. Or at least to tell him how he feels before ending it all.