Pen to Paper [N.H.]

3.3 - Inhibition - Choices

'So how about we actually get some work done? We're up anyway? I wasted the day sulking.' He suggested.

'Are you sure?' I ask him then take a sip of my hot drink.

'Yeah. What did you want to talk about? The release of This Town and Slow Hands?'

I nod, open my notebook and get ready to write my note.

'So, releasing This Town was probably one of the most nerve-wracking experiences I've ever gone through. It was my first solo song. It was just me and my guitar. And that had to be enough to captivate everyone. And when it actually did, and seeing how much positive feedback and support it was getting, it was surreal. I honestly didn't expect it to be like that. And it really encouraged me to write more and actually finish the album. I owe it all to that first moment, the first release.'

'How did you choose This Town as your debut single? At the time you've written other songs as well. Why did you choose to open your solo career with this song?'

'You're saying that as if it was a bad thing!' He chuckles.

'No! Not at all! I love this song! But I'm just curious about the thought process.'

'Well, the song is obviously very emotional and it means a lot to me. It reminds me of home. But at the same time, it's also very relatable? Any person coming from a small town would relate to it. Going back home, seeing the people you haven't seen in a decade, reverting back to that person you were at that time. It just felt like a good song to start with.

'Yeah, true. What about Slow Hands? I'd say that was another milestone in your solo career. It gained a lot of attention! Probably more than This Town?'

'Yeah definitely. After I released This Town, I got back to the studio and started writing more. The sound shifted a bit, I added songs like Seeing Blind and Slow hands, you know a little happier. After all the emotions that went into This Town, I thought the next single should be more fun. And the way the song came up to be, the writing and recording process was so much fun. So it was nice to see that the listeners and the fans enjoy it that much. It's always mind-blowing, the reaction of the fans to anything I do is something that always manages to surprise me. I can never be thankful enough. What makes me even happier than that is the new fans that I gained during my career. It makes me feel like I'm evolving.'

'And then you finished the album and released it. How did that feel?'

'It was a relief honestly. I'd been holding onto that for the longest time. And then it was out there. It was for the people to enjoy. It's not just mine anymore. I've given it all I could at the time. And yeah there wasn't much else to do. It was interesting to see the tracks that kinda stood out? You know, the non-single tracks people kept going back to. What they like what they didn't. It kind of gave me an idea for what to do what not to do for the next album.'

'So you started thinking about the second album since then? Since the release of Flicker?'

'Concept-wise, yeah! The do's and don'ts. The themes and subjects I might want to open up about. But I didn't enter full-on writing-mode until the tour was done.'

'Oh alright.'

I look at the time on my phone, 'Wow, we've been talking for an hour straight!'

'Yeah, let's stop here for the day.'

'Yeah. So what do you want to do now?' I ask him.

'I still want to know why you didn't sleep last night.'

I sigh and shake my head.

'Please.'

'It's not fair you know. One look and one word, and you can, that easily, make me tell you anything you want.'

He chuckles and then adds, 'So?'

'Look it's not your fault, I just get paranoid over things and stress myself over nothing.'

'What do you mean?'

'I noticed the change in your texts, and the distance and everything. And some part of me kept thinking that it's my fault, that I did something wrong. So I just obsessed about trying to figure out what I did wrong.'

'I am soo so sorry! You didn't do anything wrong! Of course not! It's me. I'm just... I'm sorry about that.'

'Does it have anything to do with why you haven't been okay lately?'

'Kind of? I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. But be sure that you haven't done anything wrong. If anything everything you've done so far is right. I don't know if that makes any sense. Point is, please never blame yourself for anything. And please never let it or me come in the way of your health. And never lose sleep over me please.'

'Alright. I'm sorry.'

'What for?'

'Letting it get to my head.'

'It's okay. It happens to the best of us. Anyway, we should probably get to sleep.'

'Oh, I'm sleeping here?'

'In the guest room, yeah. You don't mind, do you? It's clean with fresh sheets and everything. And if you need a change of clothes I can probably find you something in my closet.'

'I just don't want to bother.'

'You're definitely not. I wouldn't offer if you are.'

'Alright, if you're sure.'

'I'm sure.'