Shattered | D'Angelo Russell

t h i r t y t h r e e

"That's daddy!"

Zolee cooed as she rocked Zaid in front of their television. The Nets were having an interview on their future and D'Angelo was speaking on his hopes for the team. The twins had only been home for a week but their routine seemed like one Zolee had been set by for ages. Some days she struggled but most of the time she had help so things ran smoothly. Today she had D'Angelo's mother who hadn't put Zaire down since she walked in the house.

"He's going to be home soon!" Zolee continued as Zaid who followed the sounds of her voice before he nuzzled into his swaddle. She enjoyed his peace, the way it settled across his tiny features. Taking his hand she marveled at the ten tiny perfect fingers before she took a seat next to Keisha.

"Are they driving you crazy yet?"

The older woman queried as she looked down at Zaire. Without a doubt he was the fussier twin , Zaire would cry at the slightest things and in doing so he would often wake his brother. It was difficult to discern their needs at first but now Zolee felt more accustomed to them. Zaid liked food and serenity , silence soothed him while Zaire liked music, preferably the sounds of J. Cole and Drake.

"Not even , I'm still in awe of them. I feel like they've changed me."

"Well , they should and they have. You and D'Angelo seem even more united , mature too. I watched him the other day with Zaire. They both were listening to rap music and he just held him until he stopped fussing then they just sat there. In fact they both fell asleep right in that spot."

Smiling fondly , Zolee thought on the few times she'd caught D'Angelo absorbed in his new permanent occupation.

"It's beautiful you know? He's so gentle with them."

"You're also a lot more vulnerable with them too" Keisha's observation took her off guard "I see the way you look at Zaid , almost as if he reminds you of someone. He seems like he's been here before. I haven't seen him cry much for anything, he's so calm. "

"Yeah , I know where he gets it from and it's definitely not me or D'Angelo. This is going to sound crazy because he's just a week old but when I look at him , his eyes , he reminds me of my dad. He's definitely developing D'Angelo's features everywhere else but I see my dad in his eyes."

Keisha observed Zolee for a moment before she squeezed her shoulder.

"D'Angelo told me about your family. I asked if they'd be coming to see the twins and he explained it to me. Zolee these babies are the biggest blessings you can get and I love what you've done to and for my son but I'm asking you to tell me the truth right now."

Turning towards her expected mother-in-law , Zolee furrowed her brows as Keisha continued.

"Are you really okay? If I lost as much as you , I'd be going through it for a long time."

"Honestly I don't think it's possible to get over it Ms. Keisha. I just accept it because there's nothing else I can really do but I'm healing. If I dwell on what's been taken from me , I can't appreciate what I've been given. I have a family now and they need me to be alright."

Keisha admired Zolee's strength. Staring into her eyes she saw nothing but resilience. The last time she'd seen that look it was in her own son as he fought for his reputation and dream to stay alive.  Zolee had grown on her , she could see the sincerity in the young woman's actions, but the brokenness was also evident. Had she healed her son while neglecting her own wounds?

"And your sister?"

The subject matter was more complicated. Zolee had reached out to Zara , spoken to her from the ward they'd placed her in at a mental health facility in Washington. Kaia had also checked in and spoken to Zara who said she wished to be left alone and that she was fine. According to Kaia , Zara looked well , her eyes were vacant but everything else looked no different than it did in January.