Another Moment Passing by...

Chapter 18: I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret

“We don’t tell anyone,” I answered simply, almost automatically. I was good at not telling people things. Unless it was Niall, Louis, or Julia. Wonderful. I heard Lou laugh through his nose above my head, and I tilted my face up to find a smirk on his beautiful face. I had to admit, he was gorgeous.

“I wish it was that easy,” he scoffed down at me gently. I sighed and rested my head back on his chest, not wanting to be bothered by all these problems. If you don’t want to deal with these problems, don’t create them, my conscience scolded me. I didn’t mean to create these problems! I argued. They just happened!I still wasn’t sure if I was happy or not about them happening. I mean I knew I was going to feel horrible once I came face to face with Julez and Niall, but it was hard to care with Louis’ rhythmic heartbeat lulling me into a state of serene calm.

“Maybe it is,” I considered, probably not thinking straight. He chuckled a bit making my head shake.  I smacked his chest, making him laugh even more until he subdued them with a sigh.

“This was wrong,” he stated bluntly. I sat up and sighed, knowing he was right. I was waiting for the guilt to kick in, but it just wasn’t yet. Lou sat up beside me and took my hand in his, causing me to look up into his beautiful eyes. He studied me like he does before speaking. “Did it feel as wickedly right to you as it did to me?” he asked cautiously. I nodded slowly, then a bit more enthusiastically after. Wickedly right was a perfect way to describe how it felt.

“But, why did you want to try that?” I asked. The question had been nagging me. I mean, I thought Louis thought of me as a sister and nothing else. He looked down at our hands, playing with my fingers.

“Because I’ve always sort of fancied you,” he confessed, “but I knew you were in love with Niall.” My mouth dropped and my heart broke at the mention of my love for Niall. He looked up at me, the cloud of gloom in his eyes darkening my mood. “So I backed off.” I processed that for a moment. Louis used to fancy me? I found that a bit strange. He was pretty good at hiding it, from me at least. “And I know you still love Niall. You know it to,” he concluded with a sad sigh and a ghost of a smile. I looked at him sadly, nodding very slowly.

“I do love Niall,” I agreed, the words beginning to trigger the guilt. “But you can’t deny the connection we have,” I added, bringing the glimmer back to his eyes. “I’m just confused,” I sighed, placing my head in my hands. I never would’ve thought I would cheat on Niall, especially with the boy I saw as my brother. I felt horrible, and as the guilt set in I wanted to cry and beat myself up. Yet, I would still do it again. I would jump on the opportunity to have Louis’ lips on mine again. I felt Louis wrap his arms around me, pull my balled up body into his lap, and kiss the top of my head. I looked up into his sad, oceans of eyes. “I don’t deserve either of you,” I stated truthfully. One of the worst things that’s ever happened to me was being cheated on, and now here I was, cheating on the love of my life. Louis responded my shaking his head and pecking me on the lips quickly.

“That’s not true,” he murmured. I was about to protest, but we were interrupted.

 
*Michelle’s P.O.V.*

I studied Veronica’s face as she giggled with Zayn, gripping his hand in mine in a mildly possessive gesture.  She was practically throwing herself at him again. Or it seemed that way to his speculative girlfriend at least. I mean seriously, Harry leaves the room for a minute and you basically jump on a taken man. No bitch, no. I mean Veronica was nice and all, but bitch needed a reality check. She already had Harry, why bat your eyelashes at Zayn? My Zayn. “I love all of your tattoos,” she fawned, taking his forearm in her grabby little hand.

“Thanks,” Zayn replied kindly, carelessly allowing her to ogle. I pretended I wasn’t fazed, but in my head I had already shot her multiple times. I squeezed Zayn’s hand, looking into his beautiful eyes sadly as he turned and looked at me. He swiftly planted a quick kiss on my lips, making me happy and upset at the same time. I was happy he kissed me and was showing Veronica he was mine and proud, but I didn’t want him to feel like he had to kiss me and I didn’t want Veronica thinking he was kissing me because I was jealous.