Another Moment Passing by...

Chpater 15: You Are Pretty Down To Your Bones.

Chapter 15: You Are Pretty Down To Your Bones.

*Harry’s P.O.V.*

        I lay on my bare back, staring blankly up at the dark grey ceiling with a small grin on my face. I wasn’t entirely sure how real it was though. I mean I was still laughing internally about the Naley scene I had witnessed, but my mind was drifting back to Veronica. I had been debating my feelings for her, not sure how true my intentions really were. Yes, she was beautiful, gorgeous even, and she was nice and could have a laugh, but aren’t those qualities of friends? I mean yes, I had feelings for her back in the X-Factor days and now, but I was questioning how strong they were. Because even though Veronica was the center of my thoughts, there were also two other girls lingering in my mind. One of them being Dani, of course. Her almond brown eyes still stared into my soul. It felt like she stole my heart and took it with her to heaven. I clenched my eyes shut and clenched the cool sheets tightly, cringing into a fetal position as I felt a physical pain in my chest. She was so far away from me. This was one of those nights I would die to have that beautiful American girl in my arms again. Hell, who am I kidding? Every night was one of those nights. I was glad Lou had probably fallen asleep on the couch with Julia, I hated when he had to see me like this.

        I tried to focus on Veronica again, but my feelings with her faded like footprints in the sand as memories off Dani washed them away like waves. I mean I like Veronica, but when someone you fall that hard for is just ripped out of your life… it feels like a part of you is missing. A part that can never be fully replaced. I knew I had to move on for real eventually. Not that Veronica wasn’t real… Ugh, I didn’t even know what was real.

       

 Then there was the third girl. Megan. First off, she was the only person who bothered to comfort me in the hotel the night it all happened. I suppose the others thought I “needed space” or something, which was nice, but honestly what I needed was someone to be there with me. I may have pushed them away, not knowing at the time that that was what I needed, but looking back I think Megan coming over to talk to me helped me sustain some sense of sanity. If she hadn’t cared enough to check up on me and try to show me that things would be okay I very well could’ve lost myself. Not only that, but she helped me have a laugh a lot of the time. Not that the others didn’t, but she was the first one to stop me from building walls around myself. Of course, when I started hooking up with girls there was nothing anyone could do about that, not even her. It kind of seemed like she wanted to help me though, and I felt horrible for not noticing how lucky I was to have someone care about me like that. I knew she was just being a good friend, but there were those moments, those small flickers of time when it felt like she might be more. I tried to shake that off, though, thinking she would never be anything more than a friend. But she had been acting kind of different lately, ever since I brought up Veronica. Well, I guess it’s a girl thing to automatically not like other girls for stupid reasons. I thought they’d get along, but I guess I was wrong. Oh well.

        That thought brought my mind back to Veronica. She was beautiful and a wonderful person, but the spark just wasn’t there. Although, it does take a while for relationships to bloom. It didn’t for Dani and me, but I had to accept that I would never have a love like that again. I had to make myself move on somehow. But I didn’t want to forget Dani…Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, right? I ran my long fingers through my chocolate curls in frustration, just wanting to come to some sort of mental serenity. I just wanted to know what to do, but I had no idea where to start. I tried finding girls to get my mind off of Dani, but it wasn’t working. I was in a relationship now, which was an improvement, but it wasn’t a magical relationship. It takes time, I insisted, trying to convince myself that everything would be fine. I just really wished things could get better more quickly.