The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

72-Lay Me Down

I sit in the home in Brooklyn and mourn. People visit, oh do people visit. I don't have much say in it. Sam says they just want to help and make sure I'm okay. I know I'm supposed to play the role of the dutiful, good, mourning wife so that's what I do. Tony and Nat would be yelling at me, telling me that I'm more than that. But they aren't here. They can't help me now.

The Pyms and Scott come to visit as a group. Janet brings daisies and Scott plays with Ben in attempts to cheer my son up. Hank tries to talk about my father to bring some sort of happiness that way. Hope just holds my hand and doesn't push me with anything. They don't notice the weight that I've put on, or if they do, they don't comment on it. There's a bump, maybe it's because I'm eating more as a coping mechanism and it's not like I'm hiding it. My hand keeps moving to rest on my stomach. It's obvious, but they just don't bring it up.

The Guardians and Thor visit, which is weird but I can't be mad I suppose. I'm surprised they are even here. Rocket translates for Groot when Groot tells me about the first time he met Steve and how much of an idiot Groot thought he was. Drax tells me that my husband was a very nice man. Peter tells me that everything is going to be okay. Thor hugs me until I start crying again. Nebula awkwardly pats my hand. Mantis, noticing the dark circles under my eyes, puts me to sleep with her weird powers. I think Rocket attempts to steal Bucky's arm to attempt to lighten the mood.

Peter and his Aunt May visit. She brings some casseroles and Peter gives me a box of letters from his school, all from students that were either impacted by Steve or that were just sending their condolences. Bucky and I stay up for hours reading them and I write back to every student on heavy card stock, telling them how much I appreciate the fact that they wrote to me. Peter cries when I hug him because I was crying. Peter shows Benjamin how to use the webslingers (with my permission of course). I apologize that I wasn't able to take Peter to his field trip, but the kid tells me that it's completely okay. It makes me start crying again.

Doctor Strange and Wong visit too, which is also weird. They too bring food, which certainly does help because Bucky and I can't find it in ourselves to cook. They don't stay long, but they do show Benjamin what the surface of the moon looks like, which makes my son somewhat happy.

Bruce comes visits me while Benjamin is at school. We sit in my office and talk about how our original team is dwindling. It's just him, Clint, Thor, and I now. I'm able to talk about how shitty I feel about how I treated Steve after the whole time travel shit. Bruce talks me about how Steve wouldn't be mad at me because that's not the type of person Steve was. We cry about Steve, Nat, and my brother.

Wanda comes to visit. She tells me how thankful she was that Steve gave her a second chance after the whole Ultron thing. Wanda tells me how she thought of him almost as a brotherly figure after her own brother was killed during Sokovia. I let her tap into my brain to let her feel what I'm feeling but she knows it all too well. She finds out I'm pregnant this way. Wanda just looks at me absolutely shocked, tears in her eyes. I just look away, letting her sort through my feelings.

The King of Wakanda, the Princess of Wakanda, and Okoye visit as well. Bucky thanks them like he always does, for everything Wakanda has down for him. Shuri and Okoye talk about how gentle and sweet Steve was when we went to Wakanda for checkups when I was pregnant with Benjamin. I thank T'Challa for the wedding rings he gave Steve and I. I cry again, thinking of better times, thinking about how much my husband would've loved them know that I was pregnant. My rings feel so heavy.

Fury and Hill come together. They let me cry and be emotional. We talk about Natasha, Tony, Peggy, and Steve. We talk about everyone I've lost. They offer to watch Benjamin so that Sam, Bucky, and I can take care of the funeral preparations and I take them up that offer. I pay for the coffin and his plot. He gets the best that money can offer.