The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

67-Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

I haven't really spoke since I last spoke to Morgan about Tony. I can't do anything. I don't think I've ate-or maybe I have. I think Steve has told Ben-I am sure he has since Ben made me a picture of Tony and I holding hand. I know Steve is taking care of him-I know that. That's all I really know. Between Tony's death and Natasha's-I'm not doing good. I don't know if Steve really notices. I think he might be too afraid to bring up my brother's death. Steve's taken a step back from me and I don't blame him.

My brother's body is too full of gamma radiation for him to have a wake and a traditional funeral. So they bury him in a lead lined casket, next to mom and dad as soon as possible. Pepper buys the two plots next to them, I think it's for me and her. I don't know. I don't ask. I don't know why my body isn't full of radiation-it should be. I should be just as dead as my brother. You know why you aren't. I want to be as dead as him. Don't say that.

We sign the papers for Stark Industries and it's just Pepper and I controlling the company-well as co-CEOs. She asks over and over if I'll even have time to help control the company since I'm still supposed to be taking care of the Avengers. I just nod. I don't tell her that I can't even think about putting on my suit again. I don't tell anyone that I don't even want to be apart of the team anymore. Pepper tells me that she'd like to have me say something at the funeral, if I can, since I'm his sister. I just nod. That's all you can do sometimes. Just nod. She's so strong, how can she be so strong? Her husband just died and Pepper manages to go through every single day. I'm walking around like a kicked puppy. God, I want a drink.

On the day of his service, Pepper and Happy affix his first arc reactor to a wreath of flowers and carefully set it on a stand. Steve has his hand on the back of my black dress, his other hand resting on Ben's shoulder when we listen to the hologram Tony left behind. I guess from afar he looks like a doting husband. He does the same when we are standing outside on the dock. I think Pepper speaks, as does Rhodey and maybe Happy. I'm not really listening. Eventually, my sister in law looks at me, her eyes all red and glossy. I step away from my husband and walk forward to stand in front of everyone, hands clasped in front of me. My mother's pearls feel heavy around my neck. Everyone and I mean everyone is here. Bucky, Wanda, Sam, Strange, Wong, Peter, his Aunt May, the Guardians, Nebula, the Pyms, Scott Lang, Thor, Bruce, Carol, Secretary Ross, Fury, Hill, Shuri, T'Challa, Okoye, Harley, Clint and his family. I felt uncomfortable seeing Laura Barton, but whatever. Show must go on.

"Anthony Edward Stark is the only family I've ever had. He didn't have to accept me as his sister. I was just some asshole orphan that his parents adopted but he loved me like I was his real sister. Tony was my favorite person to be around. I loved him so much, well much as a sister can without it being weird. I wish..." I train off, voice thickening with emotion, "I'll always wish that I'd have more time with my brother. That he would have more time with his family. I would be nothing without him. I wouldn't have gotten sober and clean without his help. I wouldn't have become an Avenger if he hadn't pushed me to be so good. I wouldn't have met my husband without him and I certainly wouldn't have my son. My brother's influence on my life-on our lives-it will never end. He's-There will never be another Tony Stark. He was just so unique and-and he was just so unapologetically himself. I wish he was here with all of us right now. Although, I'd like to think he's up there right now, laughing his ass off at all of us with how emotional we are. He's with Mom and Dad now, with others that've been waiting for him. I'll miss him every day I'm alive. I love you, Tones." Tears are rolling down my cheeks and Pepper steps up. She wraps her arms around me, holds me close. We both hold onto each other as we cry before Morgan joins us. We both hold onto her hands before carefully putting the wreath onto the river before pushing it off. It's the last type of send off we can truly give my brother. When I stand back up, it's not Steve who comes to comfort me, it's Rhodey. He lets me cry into him, holding me up. What am I supposed to do without Tony? All my family is gone. How the hell am I supposed to carry on this legacy?