Blood War (Book 1, the Halfblood Chronicles)

36.2 | Surviving Is the Easy Part

Oldbloods save me, she thought.

"So I told them to bring their pompous asses here, because I'm not going to transport a dozen wounded keepers and a comatose girl all the way to headquarters."

"Did you really say 'pompous asses'?"

A wince. "It sort of . . . slipped."

She pressed her lips together, smothering the laughter and the pain that would accompany it. "And the Volkari?"

"They've scattered. The possible locations of their camp site have proven to be dead ends, but we're still hunting. Some wolves that we detained after the battle were sent to a Vigil prison last night. I haven't heard whether or not it went smoothly."

"Was Dante among them?"

"No. He fled with the others."

"Good. I don't want to see that mutt's face again unless it's served to me on a platter."

For a minute, Ren grew unnervingly quiet. "I might be able to arrange that."

Nika thought he'd been joking until she found his steady stare. "Ren," she warned. "He's the alpha's nephew. The backlash would be detrimental."

"Then I suppose you'll have to settle for your imagination."

"If only it weren't otherwise occupied."

He raised his brows. "By what?"

"Dreams . . . of you drinking my blood." She slid a hand over his shoulder, his body heat seeping into it. "Let me see."

No further explanation was needed. Ren stood, and with a bobbing throat, he removed his black t-shirt. Under the bright lights of the infirmary room, every defined muscle, bulging vein, and masculine angle was exposed. Nika pressed a palm against the soft spot beneath his sternum, through which Asteroth had driven the machete. His ivory skin was smooth to the touch.

"There's not even a scratch," she murmured. "Is the bloodcraft always that . . . potent?"

"No," he ground out.

She dragged a finger over his chiseled abdomen, smirking when a trail of pebbled flesh formed in its wake. The lower she traveled, the harder Ren's breathing became. And when her hand dipped below his navel, he seized her wrist.

Ebony eyes burned through her. "Don't play games."

"What makes you think I was playing?" With a pointed look, Ren pulled the shirt back over his head.

The success of the desperate feeding unnerved Nika. "Do you think I'm . . . defective? When I drank your blood, it felt like stealing a piece of your soul. And then you saw my memories when you drank mine. What if my blood is like poison? Heavenly for a while, and then bam! you're dead."

Ren dropped onto a space at the edge of the mattress, and with a fist planted on the other side of her legs, he trapped her, aiming a look so intense that gooseflesh crawled up Nika's arms and neck.

"You are not defective." Dark conviction laced those words. "You are not tainted."

"Then how can I use telepathy? Dante claims I'm a Volkari, but I can't shift, and I don't have superior hearing or night vision. Wolves are supposed to be big and strong, but look at me." She gestured to her petite form. "And yet I can read minds? I'm like some cosmic mistake."

Ren bared his teeth, but Nika knew his anger wasn't directed at her. "Did it ever occur to you that your abilities might be a sign of greatness?"

"I don't feel great, I feel different." Her voice strained, along with a familiar ache in her heart. "I don't want to be different. Being different makes you a target, especially in our world."

"If you go through life assuming the worst of everyone, you'll die alone," he said, somehow managing a tone that was both stern and gentle.

"I don't assume the worst of everyone."

"You were convinced that Elliot was dating Lu to spy on you. Despite everything I did to keep you safe, you wouldn't trust me until you almost died. And as for Markos—"

"Leave him out of this."

Ren's hand locked around her jaw, the kind of grip used on a misbehaving child. It made her seethe, but she listened as he said, "You're not wrong. He's failed many times as a father because of his position in the Ministry. But he needs to play his part, and sometimes it involves neglecting you. No matter how agonizing that is for him."

She pried his fingers from her face, saying, "Then why won't he quit?"

"Because he's trying to make the world a better place—for you. For all halfbloods. He even wanted to help the Volkari." Ren raised his hand again, from which Nika turned away, but he only tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "He isn't a callous man. You know that."

"Lu is my family. As long as I have her, I don't need Markos."

"She cannot be your only reason for living. What if she hadn't survived the ritual? What would you have done?"

Nika remained silent.

"Do you regret not telling Elliot how your opinion of him changed?" She nodded. "Then reconcile with Markos. Before it's too late."

"And then what? I live for him, too? What happens if he and Lu both die?"

Ren scanned her face, his frown deepening. "You also need to live for yourself."

"How?" She'd meant for it to be a demand, but it sounded more like a plea.

"Learn to value yourself as an individual. Not as a keeper, or a sister, or a friend. But as you, Nika."

She shook her head, scoffing. Learn to value myself?

"It would be a lot easier if there was someone to tell you that you matter," Ren continued, a rawness entering his voice. "To worry about you every hour of every day. To remind you that you're not defective, or a mistake. To protect you like they were sworn to do so."

He slipped his fingers into her hair, thumb stroking her cheek, and suddenly, the whole world focused on the two of them.

"To help you be a better version of yourself and accept you, despite your flaws."

A breath hitched in her throat. "Where would I find such a person?"

"Nika . . . don't play games." He swallowed. "Do you want me to be your keeper, or something more?"

"You were never just my keeper."

"Nika?"

A tether between them snapped, as if Lu's voice were a blade. Ren swiftly rose to his feet and slipped his hands into his pockets—a thief caught in the middle of his crime. Nika restrained the urge to mock him.

Lu and Misha entered the room, and the former had eyes as wide and hopeful as lavender skies. "Are you okay?"

Nika grinned at her sister-friend. "I am now."

Lu rushed forward, and they collided in an embrace. Despite how hard they squeezed each other, Nika didn't feel any pain. Perhaps that was because of the medicine, or because of her overwhelming joy at this reunion.

They were still clinging to each other when Nika's gaze found the two keepers lingering by the door. Watching. Nika mouthed her gratitude for all their help, and they smiled in return.