Mountains Shelter Secrets (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

VIII - Spacewalker

"At least he would have a chance!" I argued. "I know it's a little insane, but he can't stay here."

"How can you say that?" Raven snapped. "We can't give up on Finn. We have to protect him!"

I clenched my fists, trying to keep my anger under control. Raven was hurting. Finn was the love of her life, the only family she'd had growing up. I understood that she didn't want to risk anything happening to him, but for as much as I didn't want Finn to die, I didn't want all our people to pay for what he did.

"I agree. But if it comes down to him or all of us, you know what we're going to have to do." I gave her a pained look, keeping my voice gentle, even as my words were bitter in my mouth. I hated what I was saying. Hated it. But the truth was never easy.

Raven paled, and loathing simmered in her dark eyes, lighting them with a strange, sentient fury I'd never seen in anyone before. It was terrifying. But I wasn't going to back down. I knew I was right, and everyone else thought it. I was just the voice of the people.

"He isn't innocent Raven. You didn't see what he did. Killing all those people. Children. Children!"

I was well aware of everyone watching us with intensity, unsure what to do. Part of me hoped they stopped it before it got any worse, but part of me wanted to fight until Raven understood.

"You're hardly innocent yourself!" Raven seethed, shoving my shoulder. I stumbled, but didn't break my glower. "You've killed people too!"

"In battle! To protect myself. It's different, Raven. You need to understand that!" I argued, trying to keep calm, but failing miserably. "But you also have to understand that I'm not giving him up. I don't want him to die. I'll defend him, of course I will. But if it ever comes down to him or everyone here, then..."

It didn't seem to convince her. Raven was fuming, furious tears welling in her eyes. Her words were hot and her tone ice cold. "And his blood will be on your hands, same as those Grounders you killed, same as Charlotte."

I reeled back, like I'd been slapped in the face. Raven hadn't even been down here when Charlotte threw herself off the cliff. Of course, she'd probably heard what happened through the grapevine, but she didn't know the kid like I'd known her. Charlotte had almost been like a little sister to me. My family, same as Finn was to Raven. I knew she was just trying to hurt me. It worked.

Frozen, I blinked away a few tears that had welled up of their own accord. Several times, I opened and closed my mouth, trying to make my voice work, but it didn't. Nothing worked. All I could see was the unwavering fire raging in the darkness of Raven's eyes. Instead of trying to say anything to her, I forced myself to turn around. Walking towards my room was like trying to step through air made of molasses, on ground made up of quicksand. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.

Time snapped back to normal when I closed the door behind me, and threw myself to the mattress. Bursting into tears, I pushed the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to stay the flow. But the tears didn't stop, and my sobs threatened to choke me. When my door opened, my eyes were red and puffy, my throat raw, my nose dripping with snot. I glanced over to see who it was. Bellamy. Of course. I didn't want him to see me like this, so broken, so distressed. But I didn't want him to leave either.

For a moment I stared at him. Myriads of emotions swamped his eyes. Concern, anger, sorrow. But above all, a kindness unlike any other.

I buried my head into my knees. When I spoke, my voice was small, shaking. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Bellamy took a seat next to me. Not quite close enough to touch, but his presence was enough to stifle my sobs. "Y/n."

I stared at my hands, rubbed them together, trying to wash away all the blood on them, trying to get those stains to fade. But it only made them redder and redder.