Butterflies (h2ovanoss) [DISCONTINUED]

21

A little birdie told me y'all were waiting for this~

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edited

After finishing Evan's signing, he and I went to a little cafe down the block that apparently sold the best muffins ever, as Vanoss puts it.

Speaking of, he hasn't shut up about how "pretty" I am. Of course I shake it off as irregular Evan behavior because he's straight. At least I think so, I hope not though. I've been pinning over him for the entire seven years we've known each other.

Hell, I've gotten drunk on call with him before and nearly spilled my guts to him, thank fuck that I didn't. I can't help but to think he won't at all want anything to do with me if I confess. So I guess I'll watch from the sidelines and continue falling endlessly inlove with the man in secret.

"-? Earth to Jon? Hellooo?"

I blinked before looking up at Evan. "Huh? Wha?" Evan laughed before shaking his head.

"Honestly, you've been zoning out a lot lately, Anyways, as I was saying. I thought maybe we can invite the guys to come down here? I mean, o-only because they haven't seen what you look like yet."

I immediately stiffened and Evan noticed before stuttering, "U-unless of course you d-don't want to?"

I sighed before shaking my head.

"It's not that I don't want them to know Evan, I'm just scared about what they would think."

"It's okay Del, I'll make sure none of 'em mess with you." Evan smiled softly and I couldn't help but smile back before nodding.

"Okay."

"Yay! Want me to text them?"

"Nah, I'll do it."

I quickly pulled out my phone before creating a groupchat and adding the guys. I sent the address to the cafe with a note that said: Delirious face reveal. :)

Hopefully it's convincing, I've done this before but was a no-show. It's quite funny seeing how desperate your online friends can get when it comes to knowing your identity. I honestly don't really care anymore. I can't wait for them to join but then again, I'm really nervous.

Sighing, I looked up and took a look around the cafe.

It had a very homey vibe to it and it smelled of coffee beans and vanilla. It also was very modern I guess but what caught my interest was how their was what some people would call a "gay pride" flag near the counter. I couldn't help but to smile at that. I loved seeing other flags and knowing others sexuality and sexual identity. It's heart warming to see others be so open about it but it was also a jealousy of mine.

I always wanted to be open about myself but I was always anxiety ridden and full of nerves. Which is weird for me especially when I was young. I was so outgoing and happy but after learning more about myself, I developed severe anxiety and had no more self confidence. So I did youtube. Became someone else for a living. No one knew who I was, no one knew what I looked like. So there was no judgement, at least so I thought. My first hate comment hurt me a lot that I stopped uploading for three weeks. And in that three weeks, I became more self proclaimed.

I no longer let hate comments affect me. And I got Luke and Evan to thank for that. They gave me more confidence in myself. Then I met Squirrel and he allowed me to be open about myself.

I smiled softly as I thought of how my group of friends helped me so much in the years that we've all known each other. It was astounding with how much love I got for these guys.

I chuckled softly and looked to Evan before smiling again.

"I always forget to thank you but since I'm thinking about it, thank you Evan."

"For what?" Evan questioned with a silly smile and furrowed brows.

"I dunno, everything I guess? You're extremely sweet and kind to me. And you're the most truthful and honest person I know and fuck, I'm about to get really cheesy but I love you Evan."

That's it, I did it. My hearts pounding in my chest and I can't focus completely.

Evan all but grinned before nodding.

"Of course man, I love you too. You're my best friend."

My heart broke. I thought he'd understand but it's whatever. He only sees me as a friend. He's straight. He doesn't love me like that. I couldn't help but to frown. In which Evan noticed.

"Wha? What's wrong Deliri-"

"Jonathan!"

I stiffened before sinking into my seat. There's Nogla. My back was turned to the front entrance so I couldn't see who was all here but I heard some hurried footsteps. I sighed before sliding out of my seat and turning around towards them.

My face was void of emotions but inside, I was scared as fuck.

Sighing, I smiled softly before nodding to Nogla.

"Hi David."

David all but laughed before throwing his arms around me.

"You fucking handsome fuck. How come you hid yourself for so long?"

I nervously laughed before hugging back.

"I dunno, I was scared I guess."

"What's there to be scared of?"

I smiled before pulling away from Nogla and turning to the other voice.

"Heya Marcel."

"Delirious, you handsome devil."

By now, everyone from the hotel was here and it was hectic. Lots of shouting and cursing, hugging and laughter. It was fun. I was of course scared but everyone had a positive attitude when it came to seeing my real face. I smiled but frowned as I looked around.

Tyler wasn't here.

I sighed but shook it off. I was hoping he'd be here. No matter the amount of shit that little but big fucker caused me, he's my friend and I love him. He's like a younger brother to me.

"Yo, Jon. You okay man?"

I looked up and saw everyone looking at me. I nodded and cleared my throat.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine. Um, where's Wildcat?"

"I'm right behind you dumbass."

I frozed before slowly turning around and coming face to face with fucking Tyler.

His face was stoic of emotion.

I smiled softly before sighing.

"No matter how much of an incredibly large asshole you can be, you'll always one of my bestest friends."

He started walking more closer to me, still emotionless and I couldn't help but to fear that he'd hurt me. Of course I could take him on and probably win but I don't want to fight my friend.

Tyler was closer now and I stood, frozen in place. As he was a foot away, I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut. My breath caught in my throat and I was waiting for it. A push. A slap or a punch. But it didn't come.

Instead I was engulfed with a hug, small cheers could be heard from behind us and I internally cheered with them. Tyler didn't hate me.

I sighed a happy sigh and hugged Tyler back, whispering a soft thank you. In which Tyler pulled back and smiles at me sadly,

"I'm sorry for being a huge jerk and a pain in the ass."

Chuckling, I shook my head and smiled.

"It's okay Tyler, I forgive you."

"Nice face by the way."

~

I was planning on putting this up on Wednesday but thought, "fuck it, let's publish it tonight" so yeah. Hope you enjoyed. x

Lemme know what you think.

-grey