My Summer Getaway

Eyes Open

I woke up next to you,

I roll out of bed,

And gather my clothes.

"I'll see you later", you say cockily,

I want to wipe that grin off your face.

"This was the last time", I say.

You grab my hand and kiss it.

"Wait for me at the bar", you tell me.

You are so sure of yourself.

"Screw you" I answer.

I slam the door on the way out.

I despise myself

I enter my empty room,

And I change my clothes.

I make my way outside,

And my body instantly relaxes.

Something about this island,

Is otherworldly.

I have no destinations,

I have no responsibilities,

And endless possibilities.

Here I can hide from the truth,

And the truth is that...

At home I let everyone down.

I lost my promotion,

I lost my friends,

And I lost my family.

You made it happen.

It is a game to you.

So why don't I get rid of you

I pass by a sign

"Snorkel and swim with sharks", it reads

I want to do it

But something holds me back

I don't have the courage

Instead I go to the bar

I order a margarita

I listen to people singing karaoke

They sing off key,

without a care in the world.

I want to be carefree.

Instead I drink the day away,

And I wait for you,

But you never show up.

No surprise there.

My phone beeps,

A new message from you,

'I never planned on coming lol' it reads.

My heart aches,

'Asshole' I type.

The bartender closes up shop.

I am the last person here.

I'm pathetic.

I walk along the beach.

The sand is cool tonight.

A storm is on its way.

My phone beeps again,

'My room in 15 minutes' you write.

I want to ignore you.

But I can't.

My heart betrays me.

I rush back to the hotel.

Rain propels from the sky,

It drenches my hair,

It soaks my clothes,

And it seeps into my soul.

I run up the stairs,

Thunder booms.

I knock on the door,

You open it.

"Addy you look interesting", you say.

I know you are mocking me.

I look like a wet mop.

I hesitate at the door.

I don't even know why I'm here.

You are an awful human being,

But I'm attracted to you.

"Are you coming in", you ask.

I breath deeply,

"I shouldn't be here", I say.

I need to turn around.

"Its just sex, nothing more nothing less

So either come inside or leave", you say.

I come inside,

I let you kiss me,

I let you touch me,

And I wait for your reaction.

You have sex with me without emotion;

I feel numbness in my heart.

Afterwards I go out on the veranda. 

I teeter on the edge,

I wrap myself tighter in your bathrobe.

"Addy, you need to leave", you say angrily.

Lightning strikes,

I look into your eyes.

"Is she here", I ask.

"It was nice, but the fun is over", you say.

You lead me out your room,

And toss my clothes out with me.

You always chose her.

I go to my room,

Its silent and the storm is over,

But something inside of me,

Snaps.