ONE SHOTS🤤💖

The car incidents

"Im probably just having a fever.." I say and he shakes his head again.

"It's not that" He says quickly after me finishing my sentence. "It's because of last night, isn't it?" He asks but he doesn't even need to me to give him an answer, he already clearly knows that it's because of last night.

Of course I'm not myself after that, he has been my friend for so long and all this time I've been hiding my feelings, not just from him but from myself as well. I didn't want to accept that I'm in love with my best friend, my childhood friend and my only friend. It just couldn't be true and I wouldn't let it be true but now... maybe I should have kept my secrets hidden. Now because I actually let my guard down and told him about my weak side I am in this position when I just confessed my feelings to my best friend, slept with him and don't even know if he loves me or if he is just using me. Maybe he doesn't even like me, maybe it was just a bet to get me into bed. Wouldn't suprise me if it were something the football team came up with.

"Rae just tell me, there is no point in hiding it" He says but I just ignore it and look back to the road but-

I see a big truck infront of me, he stopped for a red light but I- no the car were still going and it was to late to stop.

I smash my foot on the break but it was to late, the car were driving to fast and it was just a meter between the truck and us.

I scream and the car crashes against the truck. I feel how the glass splitters and goes all over us. I can feel his warm body embracing me. I feel how the car moves and I see how a car crashes in to the side of the car or more exactly into Zack's side.

I scream with all my power don't knowing what to do, Zack is bleeding and I'm to weak to do anything but I know one thing I can do. I take up the phone from my jeans pocket and see how the glass is broken but its still working. I open it up and clicks in one simple number, 911.

End of flashback

It's like it all is going around in a loop. I feel how my body is going through the pain again and again but the worst is that I see Zack's unconcious body laying next to me, I know that hes not really there but it just feels so real.

I look up at the grave again and read the text that I know so well, that I read so many times and the text that echoed in my brain since the incident.

"Here lays Zackery Cox, 1999-2018, dead by car incident. Let him forever be in your heart til the day you see him again in heaven"

And the only thing I can think of is that I will forever keep him in my heart because I will never see him again, he is heaven but where I will go isn't as nice, I'm going to hell. I am the reason to his death so why wouldn't I go to hell?

Mom tried to convince me so many times that I've lost count that it wasn't my fault but that doesn't help. Who does she think she is to tell me that everything is alright and that I'm not the reason he is dead? How dare she even talk about him when she doesn't even know who he is? She never knew him like I did, I knew him as the love of my life.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see who it is. It is some old lady with a dog and a bouqet of flowers, red roses.

"It's not healthy to stay here all day long in this cold weather and it's especially not healthy to think to much about people that are gone, you shouldn't mourn him all day, honey" She says with that little old voice of hers.

"I don't care" I say coldly.

"But Iv'e seen you here really much, it can't be healthy to not move on" She says and pats me a little on the shoulder again.