The Devil On Your Shoulder (an All Time Low/Jalex fanfic)

Chapter 5- Just as things were looking up you said I wasn't good enough

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Alex.

"What the fuck, are you okay?" He said, panic all over his voice. "I'm gonna call an ambulance."

I hit his phone out of his hand, groaning as I sat myself up. "Shut the fuck up, I'm fine." I told him, the pain in my head so blinding it felt like I was getting stabbed, constantly.

"You're not okay!" He screeched at me. "And you broke my phone, douche."

I rubbed my head, realising there was a bump forming already. I just wanted Alex to shut up for a minute. I remembered him being like this, speaking constantly. Me, I was more of a quiet person. Only really spoke when I had to. That's why my parents always thought I was terrible at making friends.

"Give me your phone, now," He told me quickly, fumbling around in my pockets.

I shoved him, resulting in him falling over and shouting. I wasn't listening, Alex was the least of my worries right now. "Jack, what the hell? I'm trying to help you, give me your phone!" He screeched again.

"If you want to fucking help me," I told him harshly. "Help me up and please stop talking."

"Why can't you just give it up for once?" Alex moaned, his voice changing from sympathetic to annoyed. "You always have to do things yourself, why can't you let people in?"

"You're one to talk." I snapped at him. Alex pushed anyone who got remotely close to him away. Just like he'd done for me, for every other person he'd ever been close with. I knew this because I'd been at the same school as him for 4 years, I knew it better than anyone.

I tried to pull myself up, but my arms were feeling weak and I couldn't. Alex watched me for a while until finally deciding to help me. I passed dirty looks and brushed myself down. I just wanted to be done with Alex, I wanted to move on. I couldn't keep bringing up the past, because I knew me and Alex were never gonna happen again. As much as it hurt, I knew it was true.

"I'm going now, Alex. You should too, you'll be late for class." I told him, ready to push past him when he held my arm.

"Since when did you start caring about being late? Remember that time we bunked off? The first day we met?" He asked me, his face lighting up. Fucking Alex, always bringing up the good parts. It hurt remembering that day, I hated that day. It was the first day I'd set eyes on Alex, the first day I'd felt feelings for him. They definitely weren't romantic at first, it was more curiousity.

"It could be worse, I could be a cheater." He went on to tell me, knowing well that that was a touchy subject for me. 

I pushed into his shoulder, refusing to talk about it with him. It'd been 6 months, since months of constant pain, and now he decides to worry about me and try and re-live our good times? I was having none of it. Especially after bringing the whole cheating thing up. He fucking knew where I stood with that, I was so done.

"Jack," He called after me, his footsteps matching my own. "Let me come with you, make sure you're okay."

At that point, I punched him. It wasn't a hard punch, I wasn't capable of a hard punch, but I punched him hard enough to surprise him, and when he looked round at me, holding his face, looking as adorable as fucking ever, my blood began to boil for the second time in half an hour.

"Do you know how it feels to miss someone so much it physically hurts? Do you know how it feels to walk around the school, looking at things and being reminded of the good things that happened with one person, making you want to break down and cry? Do you know what it's like to go through everyday, smiling and pretending like nothing's wrong, when inside you want to die?" I screamed at him, pulling out my wrist and throwing it in his face. My wrist with fresh scars. "Leave me alone, I don't ever wanna talk to you again." I told him, pushing my sleeves back down and throwing myself into a running pace, tears falling down my face. I pushed them away quickly, determined not to cry.