The Manager (BTS fanfiction)

CHAPTER 24 - Anxiety

Suga :"And who called Vonne here?! We're not having enough of all these is it?!"
Vonne :"Suga whats wrong?" she asked steadily but with concerned tone
Suga :"Nothing, its late go back now" he walks pass everyone but then Vonne stood infront of him blocking his way
Suga :"You too Vonne? Don't block my way Vonne"
Vonne :"What's wrong Yoongi?" she stood still without moving an inch, she knows something's bothering him and he's not letting out
Suga :"I said nothing Vonne did you not hear me? I don't want to raise my voice on you so move aside Vonne"
Vonne took a step towards him and hold his hands with both of her hands "Yoongi...what's wrong? Tell me oppa, we promised right-"
Suga :"I told you there's nothing wrong!" he yelled while pulling his hands from her which caused her to jump a little, the boys were shocked too especially Jungkook right beside her.
Suga :"Why can't all of you just leave me alone I said there's nothing wrong, nothing wrong! I just want to have my sleep is it that hard a request for you?!" he said while walking aimlessly back to the boys his hands swinging everywhere
Vonne :"Its not unless you let your heart out and tell us what's wrong, you're depressed aren't you oppa? You're anxiety is back again and you're starting to feel helpless like you don't know what should you do or-"
Suga :"Stop it Vonne, stop it. Its nothing like that, I'm fine-"
RM :"Hyung please-"
Suga :"I said stop it!!!" he yelled harder while holding on to his head 

Suga :"You want to talk right? Alright lets talk! Yes I'm having anxiety right now, my depression has come back to me again and again and now it hits me hard today, I thought everything's over, I thought I would never had to deal with all these again, but guess what I'm wrong, I could never beat depression, i never would, it will find a way to come back to me every freaking time and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it..." he starts panting with all the anger coming out from him "We used to have nothing, nothing and we were so close to the edge of failing from the industry, everyday there were only anxiety and worries that filled all of us, and it consumed me hard, but now-" he scoffs "We're famous, coming near to worldwide famous, hitting every countries, earning awards at different countries and yet I'm still scared, still freaking scared of the future, like what are we going to present next? What do we have next to give to the fans the crowds? Will we be able to meet the estimation of everyone? Will we do well will we hit off all the charts like before will we-" he started shedding tears as he speaks "Will we ever live up to the standard of BTS... will we ever live up to everyone's standard.. will we ever live happily like we expect we would be? Will I ever beat depression, when will I ever win in my own state of mind, when will I not have to get depressed over things like these" he starts to lose control as he speaks with tears and pain, he started to smash out things on the table by pushing them aside, everyone was getting worried by calling him but he couldn't listen and continue swinging his hands to whatever reaches his hand
Suga :"No one could help me on this no one could! I'm just as messed up myself I can't even have control of it, I don't even deserve to be in this position I just-"
BTS :"HYUNG / YOONGI!!!" everyone shouted in shock as their eyes grew wider looking at the current situation, Vonne was hugging Suga tight with her head leaning on his chest panting as she ran towards him when they saw he was about to throw a vase towards their glass cabinet of trophy awards, the boys felt weak on their knees as they were so afraid Suga would accidently hurt Vonne by her going so near towards him, hence the shouting.
Suga was standing frozen at the spot when he felt Vonne hugging on to him tight, realizing what has he done and the mess from all of this, not to say he would have hit Vonne with the vase if he didn't stop on time.
Vonne :"Mianhe oppa... mianhe... (sorry oppa) I was suppose to be by your side and not letting you face all these alone, we said we would always have each others back no matter what... we're here Yoongi, we're here for you and each other as always" she was crying on his chest telling him all these from her heart. "I'm sorry for letting you go through this alone oppa, forgive me.." she started sobbing thinking on all the thoughts he had in his mind.