A Condemned Haven

Chapter 14

"I'm not leaving you here alone to deal with this."

"I'm a big girl, I got this. I'll see you in the morning." He nodded and reluctantly left. He saw James taking out the trash across the street. With everything going on he had forgot that James lived there.

"Hey man."

"Hey what were you doing over there? Getting some action huh?" James wiggled his eyebrows and had a stupid grin on his face.

"No, just homework," Jack laughed. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to have a normal conversation. The past 18 hours had been about murder and cops.

"Awe you disappoint me, hit that already."

"Shut up." It felt good for Jack to just laugh about something so trivial.

"You've been really busy."

"Yeah stuff keeps happening."

"I'm gonna be serious for a second man. Ever since you started hanging out with Clarke bad news has been following you around. Just be careful around a girl like that."

"Awe not you too." He was honestly sick of everyone pestering him for it. He was going to stand by her no matter what everyone else said.

"I'm just saying I get you like the crazy ones and I know why, but sometimes they're not worth it."

"Guess were done being serious?" Jack loved James. They had been through a lot together, especially after Amy.

"Eh you know it's not my thing." He shrugged his shoulders and waved goodbye before heading back inside. Jack had been so wrapped up in Clarke lately that it felt like he was living a different life. He was getting into fights with his classmates and ignoring his friends. Something was different.

Later that night he dreamed of Amy. She was only walking down the hall laughing, but he remembered every detail, including the red jacket she always wore since seventh grade year. James was next to her making faces that Amy just laughed at. When she came up to him, she started rambling on about a math test she had the next day, but he wasn't really listening. He was just staring at her, grasping to remember all the details of her face. Her blonde hair that reached just past her shoulders, her face that she never put make up on, her hazel green eyes that changed color in the sun, and her white teeth that when she smiled were just a little bit crooked.

"Jack are you even listening?" Her face looked annoyed, but she had a teasing tone. She could honestly never be mad at him and he knew that.

"Yeah sorry. You were telling me about your math test." She seemed satisfied and continued to drone on about all the homework her math teacher had given her. When she got to her class James made some stupid joke before leaving, and as soon as Jack went to hug her, he was pulled out of his dream and back into the darkness of his room. The emptiness of it only made him feel hollower on the inside. Just like he did when she had first died. The sheets stuck to him and he could feel his lungs straining for air. It felt like he was suffocating. He was on the verge of crying but used all of his will power to push the tears back. There was nothing he could do about it now. He knew he shouldn't dwell on something he could never change. He got out of bed and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Hoping it would fill the emptiness he felt, but he knew it wouldn't. Nothing ever did. His mom was sitting on the couch watching tv with the subtitles on.

"Mom can you drive me somewhere?"

"It's one in the morning. Where do you need to go J?"

"Can you drive me to the cemetery?" She already knew why and grabbed her keys.

It didn't take them long to get there. Jack walked straight there in a daze. He did know where he was going after all. When he saw the headstone, he sat down in front of it with his hands on his knees. Amelia Rebecca Keystone. He tried to imagine what she would say about his late-night traveling. Probably something like 'it's not safe to be in a cemetery after dark, haven't you ever seen a horror film?'

He hadn't dreamed about her in a couple of weeks. It made him feel guilty, like he had forgotten about her. It wasn't like he dreamed of her every night, but usually at least once a week. He was filled with an intense shame as he found himself struggling to remember every detail of her face. The sound of her voice was just barely unreachable in the back of his mind. Like a song he only knew the tune of but couldn't remember the words.

"Hey Amy. I had a dream about you. You were talking about some math test that you were worried about even though you knew you could ace it in your sleep. You were always the smartest person I knew, but you studied anyway. I went to the police station today. Can you believe that? You would have been so proud. I met a girl named Clarke, she's nice but everyone kind of hates her. You definitely would have liked her. She reminds me of you, and it makes me think of you, but at the same time it just makes me miss you more. Life has been really dull without you. Like I've been going through the motions. My mom got another job, but she's good and James is doing okay too. We don't talk about it, but I know he misses you too." He paused as he choked up, straining to get the words out. It had never gotten easier, no matter how many times he had come here.

"I wish you were here. I think about you every day, especially when I pass that trash can at school with a dent in it when you threw your hyrdroflask at James head." A sob wracked his body and a choked laugh made its way out.

"I hope heaven is treating you well. I'm gonna go, I have school in the morning, but I'll come back later this week. I love you Amy." A sob hit him again as he took a moment to collect his tears and will his body to stop shaking. He got up and went back to the car where his mom was waiting. She didn't say anything on the car ride back and as soon as they got home Jack went right to his room and back to sleep.