To the White Wolf | Fenrys (ToG)

Chapter 9: Goodbye

Fenrys knew. He knew I was his mate. It scared the shit out of me. That line in the song had been always about him. How would Fenrys understand me? Why would he even want me? I was the leftovers of more men than I could even remember. Why would he want me?

But he said he understood me. He said I wasn't broken or stained.

When I was with him, I felt whole and clean. I felt happy. And he was my mate.

I stayed in bed the next day, I had thrown up a bit from nerves and the alcohol, but I was mostly hiding. Or avoiding until I was ready.

I think I was mostly scared that I would see him and he wouldn't say anything about last night or wouldn't remember. Then I would probably have to make the next move and try to tell him that we're mates only to chicken out.

I wasn't even sure what mates were supposed to do. Were we automatically in this contract to fall in love and have children? Did Aelin and Rowan automatically jump each other's bones when they found out they were mates? I should ask, but that might be weird.

I took a bath, washed and brushed my hair, and put on a nice deep blue dress before I went to dinner. I prepared myself to see Fenrys. It would be fine, he would pile his plate high with food and we would all joke about the ball.

I met Aelin and Rowan in the hallway, they were arm and arm. Aelin gave me an apologetic look, "Your time here is coming to an end?"

I nodded, "Yes, thank you for the letter you wrote to Dorian. I'll be gone by the end of the week. And thank you for offering me a place in your home."

Aelin waved the apology away, "Dorian better appreciate you or I might have to steal you back."

I laughed as we entered the dinning room. Elide, Lorcan, Evangeline, Lysandra, Aedion, and even Vaughn sat at the table and watched the three of us take our seats. My eyes tried not to linger on Fenrys' empty seat.

I barely listened as Vaughn talked about what he had been doing for the past year. He had been ordered by Maeve to look for the key and he went north and never came back. He spent his days enjoying the women of Terrasen and integrating himself into a wolf tribe of the north. I'm surprised he didn't get at least one female pregnant with all the women he said he was with. At least he was discreet for Evangeline's ears.

When dinner was over I filled a plate with a couple of chicken legs, gravy, and potato crisps. The plate was heavy in my hands as I walked to Fenrys' bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Come in," sounded a deep familiar voice from the other side.

He didn't turn around from his desk as I entered and sat the food down on his coffee table. I stood there, thinking of what to say, but the silence was thick as he poured his concentration into writing something.

I sat down. I'd wait.

A thought came to me and I released the magic that hid my scent and sent a light breeze towards him. He froze. He slowly turned around.

My mate smiled at me in a way that shattered my heart. It was a shy smile, the smile I gave him when I first got to Terrasen and was too scared to look him in his magnificent eyes. "Hello," he said.

"Hello," I said back, matching his smile and blush.

He looked away and cleared his throat, face flushing red, "I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have acted like that and I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you."

I hummed, a cat playing with a mice. I don't think he quite remembered, "Oh, you said a few things."

"What did I say?" Panic rose in his voice.