somebody to love | ben hardy x joe mazzello

chapter 9 - holding me tight

joe's p.o.v:

he stuttered out a yes, clearly somewhat nervous or anxious. i couldn't really tell. i got up and offered him my hand, which he took, and the two of us walked out of the coffee shop hand in hand towards ben's apartment. i could feel a bit of awkward tension, and i tried to make small talk on the walk, but it didn't help. we walked the rest of the way in silence, before stopping outside of what i guessed was ben's apartment. he turned towards me, saying, "well, this is it." my snarky side took over and i looked over at him with a smirk, asking, "oh so this is the end of the night?" he cocked his head, slightly confused. "was there something else you were expecting?" i chuckled at his confusion. it was honestly really adorable. "no, no, there wasn't anything else i was expecting," i said. "this looks like a nice place." i looked up, observing the building, and i could small smile crawl onto my face. i was watching ben out of the corner of my eye, watching him look like he was having an internal argument, before he finally spit out what he had been deciding to say. "why don't you come inside and check it out?" i turned to him with a smile, and held out my hand as i said, "i'd love to." his eyes widened a bit and i watched as his cheeks were tinted a pale pink, and he smiled as his gaze dropped to the ground. i took a couple steps towards him and slowly reached towards his face. i gently grabbed his chin and tilted his head up so we were looking at each other. i couldn't help it as my gaze slowly dropped towards his lips then back to his eyes. i felt his hand come up to gently rest on the one i had on his chin. he seemed to be choking on the words he wanted to say, the need for whatever he wanted paralyzing his lips. he finally got what he wanted to say out, and i sensed what i thought was some kind of eagerness in his voice as he spoke. "why don't we go in and i'll show you around?" i removed my hand from his face and took his in mine. "let's do," i said softly. we walked up the stairs and he let go of my hand momentarily to unlock the door. he pushed the door open, gesturing towards it. "after you." he said with a slight bow. i did a slight bow in return, following up with, "why thank you, kind sir." and i stepped inside. he followed suit, closing the door behind him. "well," he said. "this is my place." i took a few steps, looking around the main room. decorated simply, it gave the feeling of home, comfort, calmness. i turned in a circle observing the space around me, and when i made it back to looking at ben, he had taken off the sweater. he had a plain grey t-shirt on, revealing somewhat muscular arms. i muttered a small "woah" of amazement and shock as i looked over him. his face started becoming a little panicked, and i smiled at him. "don't worry, you look ..." i was at a loss for words. "just... wow." ben smiled and giggled. "i'm guessing that's a good thing." "yeah, yeah it is." i smiled at him. he went on, talking about the house and when he moved and all that jazz. we came to a door splattered with paint. "now this," he said. "this is my favorite and most important room in the house. all my creativity, happiness, pain, it's all expressed here." he opened the door to reveal an art room. various paintings hung on the wall, and there were shelves full of art supplies. "woah.." i said as i walked to the center of the room. i turned circles taking it all in. he walked over to join me. "yeah, i've spent countless hours here." he shoved his hands into his pockets, smiling at the ground once again. i walked over to look at a painting of a sunset. i stared at it, taking in the details. "that's one of my favorites." i heard ben say from behind me. i turned to him, a happy smile on my face. "it's beautiful," i told him. "just like someone i know." i added a little quieter. i watched as his green eyes widened once again and his cheeks turned a very noticeable shade of pink. i walked towards him slowly, and he took a step towards me as i got nearer to him. we got close enough to where i could hear his breathing. once again, my gaze went from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. when my gaze made it back to his eyes, i saw he was looking at my lips. i gently grabbed his chin and tilted his head up so he was looking right at me. 'do it, do it' my brain told me. so i did. i gently leaned in, and i felt him lean in to. we both stopped centimeters before our lips touched, and i could feel his breath on my lips. it sent chills down my spine, and i moved slightly closer, so my lips were just brushing his. he filled the rest of the space, connecting our lips. in that moment i could've sworn my heart skipped a beat. i felt my breath get kind of heavy, and i started to wonder how long we had been doing this. then i realized - i didn't care. i felt a hand on my waist, and - knowing it was ben's - i slipped my other hand down to his waist and pulled him closer to me. i was sure we could both tell we were out of breath so we both pulled away at the same time. we left our foreheads touching, staring into each other's eyes and being as close as we could be in that moment. i could hear us breathing and i'm pretty sure i heard my heart racing too. ben was the one to break the silence, slightly out of breath, his voice only a whisper. "well, that was an unexpected turn of events."