/cause you know the truth hurts, but secrets kill/
she's been coming home late and you already know the reason behind it. of course you don't want to accept it, nor do you want to pressure her into telling you the truth. it's too painful. especially when you've spent so much time with her. one year of pushing the boundary of friends, three years being her girlfriend, one year labeled fiancée, and two more being called wife. seven years of adventures. you had even began planning for children in the near future. you had given her so much. and yet, it just wasn't enough. though as painful as it was to continuously feel your eyes burn from the numerous tears that dried stuck to your face as you finally fell into a calm slumber, it hurt that much more to know that she was trying to be so avoidant of it. both were terrible, but the latter stabbed your heart in way that seemed to drastically slow the electrical impulses needed to keep its rhythm. and with the extent of such injuries, you wouldn't be able to stay alive for much longer.
/can't help thinking that i love it still
still here, there must be something real/
it all seemed so right. she was right. 'us' was right. and that's what made it so difficult. the fact that you know and refuse to bring it up because you simply aren't ready to let her go. you wish you could live the same day over and over, the day before the rollercoaster hit the tip-top of the hill. then, it would be okay forever. you could still happily have her to yourself because some feelings never wear out, and it doesn't seem like this one will ever begin to fade. it was right. for so long it was good. and now, it suddenly just wasn't anymore. those years were true, it showed in the way it hurt. pain hurts most when it's owners' feelings are honest. and for you, it felt someone was trying to clean your open wounds with chunks of salt and finish by sanitizing them in pure bleach. it made your heart ache, because you still had deep feelings for her. she was the one for you, but, as it turns out, you aren't the one for her.
/cause you know the good die young
but so did this
and so it must be better than i think it is/
"demi?" you're voice is barely above a whisper but it still seems to catch her attention as she sits at the edge of the bed pulling on a long tee-shirt. she turns around in order to face you.
"hey, you're still awake," she smiles slightly as she lies down beside you and scoots closer in order to pull you into her side. you slip away from her grip. you can feel the burning sensation of more tears planning their escape and the tickle of a single drop slipping down your cheek. you sit at the edge of the bed with your head dropped, looking to the ground.
"y/n? baby, what's wrong?" she calmly places her hand on your shoulder but you forcefully jerk away, causing her hand to fall.
"please, don't touch me anymore." you stand up and walk towards the door, ignoring the shuffle of blankets as demi begins to follow you. "we can't do this anymore. maybe you can, but i just can't."
"y/n? what do you mean?" you can hear the shakiness in her voice and you feel it in your own too. "i love you. you know that, right? you know, i love you!" you flinch as she began to raise her voice, sending a sudden feeling of uneasiness spiraling throughout your body.
"this isn't the you that i promised to commit myself to. you've changed and you're no longer the woman that i married. this is it for us and you can't even deny it or try to change my mind." you step back and turn around, walking through the bedroom door and heading towards the living room. you feel her hand grab your wrist, but you pull away from her.
"y/n, please. i'm sorry, don't leave me. i don't love them like i love you." she has tears falling down her face mimicking the pattern she'd created on your cheeks by being out until three am.
"i hope you don't love anyone like you love me because no one deserves that pain. i'm sorry, demi but we're done. it's over." too soon. it's all finished too soon. so many times you'd seen her in your dreams with grandkids upon your lap rocking in the chair on the porch with a small dog running around the front yard. and now all of that had been flushed down the drain.
/give me those eyes it's easy to forgive/
it had been a long, hard two months of reflection without her. you'd sent over divorce papers just yesterday after having watched them sit on your desk for a week. you'd slowly gotten over missing her being with you. but the hardest part was loving her despite her actions. despite everything, you loved her and you knew you always would.
you'd finally become able to begin peeling your body from the bed for more then a quick trip to the restroom and occasionally a shower. today felt more lively than those previous and you'd woken up refreshed, having actually had a good night's rest. you'd impulsively gotten yourself ready and walked out to your car realizing only then that you hadn't actually planned on going anywhere. unsurprisingly, you ended up at the coffee shop, regretting your decision after you saw her there as well. after making unwanted eye contact, she began walking over to you. you didn't have a plan for this. in an instant you'd wished you hadn't left the house at all but it was too late for that as she approached you.
"y/n/n. i'm sor-" you didn't let her finish, not wanting to hear the rest of it.
"no. i don't want an apology, i don't want anything from you. i hope you have a good day. goodbye, demi."
you grabbed your coffee from the table you were seated at before proceeding to walk towards the exit. and even though they say not to look back, in that moment you did. and you wished for everything to go back to how it was. you wanted the fairytale back. you wanted to be able to forgive her like when she used to pout for forgiveness after a play fight just a few months before.
but you knew that it would never happen. she'd always be your tragic love story. the one you could never truly get over. the one you'd never stop thinking of. the one you'd always miss despite the pain that followed.
