Pinwheels and Dead Leaves

I am Narcissus

I am weakest at the heart.

I am shuffled and baffled

and constantly enamored with sentimental things.

I cry at the most unexpected quiet things.

No colored strings can cover the lines of my smile

And there's no reason

I just want to smile whenever I am able

Whenever I feel like it

Because these days the world just welcomes happiness

from all sorts of sources and carried by all kinds of convoy

And that's not who I am.

I am not with anyone.

I am separate.

I am afar.

Further than what your eyes can tell.
And I am happy.

I do not long anymore during 20 hours out of 24.

I am gonna feel and talk at my own pace.

I am gonna act according to what is true.

If I commit mistakes I assure you

they would still be beautiful.

Just like what I've always been.

More than the sunflowers that only follow the sun.

I find no value in anticipating the sun

For it doesn't need me,

Why should I want it to need me?

Why should I want to need it?

My every tear he dries but my tears are softness of my heart.

My every smile he answers with a kiss but my smiles hold my pain.

Pain...

Weakness is my vanity,

I am forever enchanted by my own imperfections

And I've long accepted that no one can give the love I have for myself

So I banish even their voices to a dark cave.

They yell out my name in unison,

in perfect harmony

But I do not answer

For in this world
I am separate

I am afar

I am done.

(9/12/16)