Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

12 | A Favor

Present Day

A huge weight fell from my shoulders and my lungs were finally able to be at ease. The memory from last night was a lot to take in, I realized how careless I was with alcohol and how outgoing I was with Nate. So outgoing that I showed him a very different side to myself that I don't even think existed without drinking. I could hardly believe what we did with each other, but the most important thing was that I didn't sleep with him. That's what I needed to confirm when I came here.

Still sitting on his bed, Nate and I looked at each other and I couldn't help but break into a smile of comfort. I released my hands from the tight grip they had on the fabric of the blanket I had been squeezing while he spoke, and my stiff fingers ached when I stretched them out.

"So, we didn't have sex?" I clarified, needing to check one more time for peace of mind. He lightly shook his head to my question.

"Nope. Like I said, I carried you to the couch and left."

"Oh thank god." I cradled my face in my palms and let out a long sigh, relief overflowed every nerve in my core and lifted the stressful mood I had been carrying around all day.

I raised my head back up to Nate and saw that his thick brows were furrowed, creating a little crease in the middle of his forehead.

"Ouch, I'll try not to take that personally." He muttered in a genuinely offended tone and slid off the bed. He was distancing himself from me, and I grasped how thoughtless my response had been.

"No! I-I didn't mean it like that!" I scrambled off the mattress and began to follow him to the other side of the room, stumbling over the carpet that created a space between us. "It's just, I'm uh...I'm—"

It was hard to read his expression, but I think it was puzzlement. I didn't blame him. I got like this whenever I was flustered, and it seemed to be happening a lot more lately...especially around him.

"It's just...I'm a virgin." I finally mumbled out, and my stomach anxiously twisted in dread for Nate's reaction. His creased eyebrows raised in sudden understanding.

"Oh! Okay well then yeah. Shit, I'm glad we didn't." It looked like the muscles in his face had instantly loosened when he realized it wasn't a personal insult against him. "Good thing you couldn't persuade me." He teasingly added on, returning once more to his light-hearted demeanor.

I rolled my eyes and my confidence gradually sidled back in. I appreciated him not asking why I was still a virgin, as so many seemed to question that nowadays. There was such a stigma surrounding the word. If you were a virgin when majority of those around you weren't; you were either uptight, religious, or there must have be something wrong with you. That was just the assumptions people made, even if it wasn't the case.

"Persuade you? Please, you wanted it just as much as I did." I retorted back with a hint of feistiness. Nate grinned and nodded his head, attempting to stifle his crooked smile with a small bite to the lip.

"Yup, you got me there." He grazed the faint stubble on his jaw with the tips of his fingers and looked to the side guiltily. "I can't deny, that's totally true."

We shared a smile, still caught up in the memory of last night and the feelings that came along with it.

Feelings. I remembered the other person my feelings belonged with – Matt.

Besides from needing to find out if I did or didn't slept with Nate for my own benefit, I was also doing it for Matt. I was doing it in an attempt to salvage what our relationship had the potential of turning into, and now that I knew nothing serious had happened last night...here came my next dreaded obstacle.