Selfless Love [Completed]

Chapter 11

Dear Rudaba,

This letter will get to you after you marry Zain and it will hopefully get to you before I bid farewell to my life and this world. I want to begin with apologising for everything I did. I know I seemed cruel at the time for refusing to marry you but trust me meri jaan, I had no other option. You are the only woman I loved, and I regret that life didn't give me enough time to live with you. Rudaba, no one in this world means this much to apart from you. You are an innocent, genuine, compassionate and a loving woman and I am so proud of the person you are. I want to thank you for marrying Zain. You have no idea how easy death is now for me thinking you will be in safe hands, with a good man and a loving family. Zain is my cousin, but he is my brother more. You know our bond and you know him enough too. Trust me, he will give you his best and I know you will too. As you both start your new life, don't remember me as much and start afresh. If this is the last time I am in touch with you, then take it from me. I always did, and I always have and even in the hereafter I always will. I love you, Rudaba.

Love,

Shahroze.

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She lost count of how many times she read it in front of Zain. Words weren't making sense to her. She was confused, she had many questions and she wanted answers. But she couldn't grasp one thing. Death. Shahroze's death. His death. The piece of paper dropped from her hand onto the bed just like tears began to drop from her eyes. Her world had come to a standstill. But she still didn't know the full story. She wanted to know but she didn't have the courage to ask and listen to what was coming for her next.

"Yeh sab kia hai? Yeh letter? Is ka kia matlab hai?"

"Shahroze ko final stage lung cancer hai aur uskey survival chances nahi hain. Woh jaanta tha tum se uski takleef nahi bardasht hogi isliye usney tumne nahi bataya. Usney shadi se inkaar isliye kiya kyunke woh tumhe akela nai chorna chahta tha. Yeh sab mushkil hai I know. But, trust me, meinu usey buhat samjhaya magar woh haar maan chukka tha. Usney kasam li thi mujhse key mein tumse shadi karunga. Mein..."

"Chale jao yahan se, Zain." She said gritting her teeth. It was showing she was hurt. Hurt and angry.

"Rudaba..."

"Jao yahan se." She repeated. But this time her voice was slightly louder.

"Please ek dafa meri baat tu..."

"Zain please chale jao yahan sey! Samjh nai arai kia tumhe. Jao yahan se!"

She said this time screaming. Zain didn't try to protest but instead silently left the room. He wasn't sure how she would react, but he had to tell her everything. There was no other way out. She needed to know. And now that she knew, she also needed time to process what she learnt, and he was willing to give her that. He came out of the room and went to the balcony and stood there lost in thoughts.

"Ya Allah mein kahan jaoun. Kis se baat karun. Shahroze ney mujhse dil ki baat ki, Rudaba ne mujhse baat karkey Shahroze per ghussa nikala, ab usey sach pata chal gaya hai tu uska ghussa bhi mujh per nikal rahi hai. Mein kis sey baat karun? Kon hay mere dil ki baat sunnanne wala. Koi kyun nahi samjhta, agar yeh sab Rudaba aur Shahroze ke liye asaan nahi hai tu mere liye bhi nai hai. Shahroze mere bhaiyon jaisa hai. Uska waqt khatam horaha hai aur bajae ke mein uskey sath hota, usi ke kehne per uski muhabbat se shadi karli meine. Ek ney apni muhabbat aur zindagi ki qurbani di, dusre ney apni khushi aur marzi ki aur meine apni hi qurbani de di. Ya Allah mere liye asaani paeda kar, mein apni zimadari sahi se nibha paoun."

He kept on thinking all this and was looking blankly at the darkness that had fell over Lahore. He had so much to say, so much to explain but he wasn't given the chance. Not knowing what the next day would bring, he stopped hoping and instead sat down on the floor in the balcony and leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.