Surviving You

Chapter 20

" Morning sweetie. I made breakfast."

I groaned.

" Go away Austin. Fuck your breakfast. I want to sleep."

" It's Chase."

I opened my eyes and looked around. I recognized Brianna's bedroom and me laying in her bed, still in my clothes from last night.

" You fell asleep while you were with Austin so he left."

The ache in my heart felt enormous and I hugged myself.

" I'm not hungry."

Chase sat down on the corner of the bed and I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

" You're eating. You are not going to turn into Brianna."

He handed me a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. A glass of orange juice was set on the table right beside the bed.

" Thanks," I mumbled.

I began eating and Chase told me she's still asleep on the couch.

" She didn't sleep up here?"

" You were comfortable."

I owe her big time.

" You sleep over?"

" Yeah. In the guest room."

" Her parents?"

" Haven't really been around. Her dad been sleeping in a motel and her mom took up a second job to pay for bills since she's now a single mom. So she's rarely home. That's why I'm always here."

I nodded. He continued to talk to me as I finished up my breakfast. When I finished he took my plate and empty glass.

" Hey Chase?"

" Hmm?"

" I'm sorry for judging you. You're actually a pretty cool guy."

" It's all good."

" And thanks. For taking care of Brianna when I couldn't. And for, you know, breakfast and all that."

He gave me a soft smile and kissed my forehead.

" Get up and get dressed."

***

" I really can't stand you two, you know that?"

We were parked out front of Austin and I's apartment.

" Just talk to him."

I got out and slammed the door shut.

" Love you!" Bri called out.

" Yeah yeah. Love you too."

They drove off and went up to the doorman.

" Good afternoon ma'am. Badge?"

" You know me. Tell Austin I'm here."

" Just policy. You never know."

He went inside and a moment later he came back.

" He would like you to come up. Is everything alright between you two? He came very upset last night and you weren't with him."

" Just got into a fight. Thank you. Have a nice evening."

" Sam for you ma'am."

I walked inside and took the elevator. Walking to the door of our apartment I knocked three times instead of using my key to open the door. It just seemed right.

" Coming!" I heard Austin call out.

I waited as I heard him shuffling around.

" About time. You're ten minutes late. I better get a-"

He stopped as he saw that it was me.

" Who were you waiting for?"

" I ordered some pizza."

I nodded and Austin stepped aside so I walked in. I wonder if they had sex in my bed. Or on the couch. Not knowing, I stood awkwardly.

" Chase and Brianna make you come."

" Mmhm."

He nodded and sat down on the couch, patting to the seat beside him.

I made a face of disgust and he groaned.

" We did it at her house. I would never disrespect you that much. This is our home."

" You should disrespect me at all," I stated simply, getting a bag of marshmallows from the kitchen.

I sat down in the arm chair diagonal from him.

" I fucked up."

" I know."

" I miss you."

" I miss you too."

" You staying here?"

" No choice. Chase kicked me out of Brianna's house."

" Why?"

" Doesn't want her stressing over me and stop eating again."

He nodded understandingly.

" Well I made plans for tonight. I'll cut them off though."

" What plans?"

" Just go to a party. Nothing serious."

" Oh. I mean I don't care what you do."

The bell rang and he got up. After paying the pizza delivery guy and receiving two coupons for the inconvenience he came back to the living room.

" Barbecue chicken is one and pineapple with bacon is the other pizza."

I had skipped lunch and it was near dinner time. Even though I didn't feel like eating, my body urged me to pick up a slice.

As we ate we watched television. Free finishing half of each box of pizza we sat back.

" Have you ever loved anyone before? Besides your family?"

" Never," he answered strongly.

It surprised me how quick he answered but I quickly regathering myself.

" Ashley. What does she mean to you? Or used to mean to you?"

" To be honest, I found her to be more than some girl. I didn't love her but she wasn't some hoe at the same time. But she doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Nothing at all. She hasn't in a while."

I studied his face.

" Do you love me?"

" More than you will ever know."

I bit my lip and played with my fingers without leaving his gaze.

" I'm staying here tonight," I said softly, making my way to our bedroom.

When I heard him coming behind me, I closed the door to the bedroom.

" You're sleeping on the couch. Night."

He groaned.

" Goodnight May."