Face Value

Part 7

"No, this is doing me the power of good," she admitted. "But I will take a little while to get back to normal. The doctors are still dubious if I'll come off the HDU today or if I need another day here." Then she looked at her downcast daughter. "Is there no one you trust is being honest with you?" Reluctantly, Astrid nodded.

"There is one guy," she said slowly. "I mean, he used to be a jock but he was involved in an accident and was hurt. He lost part of his leg and he was ruthlessly cast aside by them. He's been trying to be friends with me ever since, always smiling and friendly. And no matter how many times I rebuff him, he still keeps being there. He asked if I was okay the day you were admitted because he could see I was down. I wasn't very nice to him..."

"Why?" Ingrid asked. The girl sighed.

"I think I was angry that I had been basically ignored for so long, that my friends had all abandoned me and then suddenly-boom! The same thing happens to him and he just expects me to be his friend. I wanted him to feel as miserable as I did..." And then she looked up. "That sounds horrible, doesn't it?"

"A little," Ingrid admitted. "I know you have been dealing with a lot, my daughter. Did you suspect he wasn't genuine?" Shaking her head, Astrid toyed with her hands again.

"No," she murmured. "But I just resented that he was thrown aside and he wanted to be friends with me when he hadn't before."

"People change and grow and learn," her mother reminded her. Astrid nodded.

"He used to be a jock...and I found out he was the one who mentioned the whole idea of putting me in a dumpster in Sophomore Year-though he told his friends not to do it..." Astrid continued. Then she pulled a face. "He never took part. And he tried to apologise to me the next day when everyone found out what had happened-but I yelled at him and the other jocks. And when they all became friendly-minus him, of course, because he's now as popular as Eel Pox-I asked the guys to prove they were serious and for the person who came up with the idea to spend an hour in a dumpster to see what it was like. I expected one of the people who actually did it to go in. Instead, they ambushed him and locked him in. He could have died! And that was my fault." She shook her head. "I feel really bad about that."

"You should," her mother said thoughtfully. "That's not who you are-and it sounds like it isn't really who this young man is either. I mean, he did apologise and he didn't take part. And he appears to have learned the same harsh lessons that you have, my love."

"I spoke to him the day after the dumpster incident," she admitted. "He's got a really bad cough and cold. And he was apologetic. And he was sassy and nice and..."

"And you sort of like him, don't you?" Ingrid asked. Dumbly, Astrid nodded.

"I was stupid," she admitted. "I couldn't give him a chance until I was suddenly popular, until I was no longer the pariah I had been. And I missed out on having a friend like him because that would have meant swallowing my pride-but it meant I was more alone that I should have been." Ingrid leaned forward and wrapped her arm around her daughter.

"You weren't in the best place-just like me," she said, her tone peaceful. "I think we both don't make good decisions when we're angry and hurt and bereaved." Leaning against her, Astrid closed her eyes.

"No," she sighed.

"And I have come to terms with my mistake, lying here and staring at the ceiling and thinking about how much I have deprived you of by my anger and bitterness," Ingrid added. "Finn could have been in our lives all this time-instead, all three of us suffered because I was angry for no good reason." Astrid sighed.

"He's here now," she admitted. "And you're getting better." She looked up and smiled.

"That's true," Ingrid admitted. "I am on the mend-and I don't want to see you here at the hospital tomorrow, Astrid." The girl's eyes widened. "I am going to have all my friends from work visiting and you need to go out and do something for yourself."