Loving Augustine Urban

Five

Five
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I spent most of the next day with Lina Ackles, the first friend I made in class. We'd clicked the moment our eyes met on day one. Picture this: Lina, already settled in her seat, sported a casual beige shirt and deep blue jeans. Her brown hair framed shy eyes and a kind face. Not conventionally eye-catching, she seemed pleasantly reserved, the type I thought might struggle to find their crew, just like me. So, I went and planted myself next to her. I still don't understand why, but our first conversation were nothing but hushed senteces, whispering into each other's ears like we gossipped bigtime when we had nothing juicy to share. And somehow, our whispered exchanges morphed into normal conversations the next day, and the next, and we haven't stopped talking to each other since.

We sat out in the campus lawn, bathed in the warm glow of the afternoon sun until Lina decided to leave. I decided to swing by the library. Amidst the hushed whispers of turning pages and the rhythmic tap of fingers on keyboards, I moved between the shelves. Then, my gaze snagged on a peculiar title nestled between classics - "Mr. & Mrs. Darcy's Book of Curious Creatures." Bryce had shown me a copy once in a library, and we'd spent an afternoon reading it together and giggling at a corner, wrapped up in his arms. He'd even promised to find me a copy.

My fingers went to trace the spine as if trying to relive a bit of that sweet past. I pulled it out of the shelf and flipped through it, finding myself really wondering — how come? How come we're so far apart now?

Bryce Carter, brother of my ex-best friend, love of my life, cheated and ignored me like trash. You really can't trust anyone and build your dreams and happiness on them. A wave of bitterness washed over me, quickly followed by a surge of indignation.

Suddenly, a shadow fell across the page, followed by a familiar voice, "Soph?"

I started and looked up into a pair of dazzling blue eyes, the very ones I used to consider mine. When I felt my chest grow heavy and an ache pierce through it, I knew I was still in love with him.

I slammed the book shut and asked, "What are you doing here?"

His usual, carefree smile faltered under my icy gaze.

"I saw you walk in," he said, leaning against the shelf.

"So? Couln't you just ignore me? You seemed great at that," I said, barely containing my anger.

He shifted uncomfortably, the playful mask slipping further. "Look, I know I've been... distant lately. But it's not what you think, okay?"

"Oh, really?" I scoffed, staring hard in his eyes, "Then enlighten me, because all I see is someone who ignored me at every party, pretended I was invisible, and then disappeared with another girl."

Bryce winced, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. "Okay, I messed up. But it wasn't my fault, alright? Sarah, she kind of... clung to me, and I didn't want to be rude."

"So, instead, you were rude to me?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but clearly he had nothing more to say. He clenched his jaws, paused a moment and surprised me with his words. "That's because I thought you would understand! Not because I don't want you." He held my shoulders and spoke more gently, "Of all the people in the world, you understand me the best, so... Of course, I shouldn't have but you have a heart like no one else. And I took you for granted. I was wrong but, nothing has changed for me. I still care about you."

He looked at me with his soft, doe eyes that would always melt me, caressed my face and leaned in to kiss me. I turned my face away and felt his body go stone cold. I could almost feel the chill in his breath.