Something I wished for || Wattys 2019 ||Wattys 2020

Chapter 6- Pain

He stared at me for a long second before leaving me. I clutched myself and turned to walk inside the cabin, my eyes found Urvi’s when his voice halted my steps.

“At least hear me once, Manzar.”

“I don’t think there’s any reason for that. You are not required.”

Shut it Manzar! This sentence was not required.

“We both know that.”

What do you mean by that? I clearly don’t need you.

“Hear me once, it was never my place to chose, that was yours. I know that now.”

With that I left him out.

Walked in meeting Urvi’s scrutinizing gaze and Ruhani di’s inspecting eyes. They know what happened outside unlike others who are busy talking to each other.

The only questing he left bugging in me was
‘It was never his choice to make, it was mine?’

What do you mean by that?
.

.
.

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Next Morning

I decided to call my sister.

I hadn’t slept a wink last night, his words occupying my mind.

I’m not regretting the break and I mean it, I actually needed this break. Away from city chaos, away from work, far away from books.

Away from My -Oh -so -busy -scheduled life.

I’m not regretting that I met him here again, actually I wanted him to see how different I am now.

And I am not talking about my mental preparation of facing him, I am being a girl here. No matter how much you hate someone, how much you loath their very existence, you still want to show off your changes, your maturity, your knowledge, your beauty even if it is doubtful.

I don’t want to hear a word from him, yet my ears are hearing  his voice. I don’t want to see him, yet my eyes are resting on him. I want to free my mind from him yet my mind is freely wandering over him.

I never gave him a chance to explain himself, yet want him making efforts.

I blocked him from everywhere and Aditya helped me do it.

Only once I heard he tried to contact me after that none news was shared.

May be I’m wrong, I might’ve given him a chance to explain himself but I only needed a push. A push harder than ever—no one did that though.

They tried to convince me yet ended up respecting my choice to let me grow up, I was too young to understand- they agreed on that.

I am not complaining for anything they did, they were helping me just like I asked them to – they were being a sister, a brother and a friend to me.

Yet here I’m in dilemma of letting him in for explaining himself atleast.

I zipped the hoodie up and covered my head with the attached cap, I had just washed my head, my hair were still damp and probably look all wavy today. It takes a day for them set by themself.

The reception here is so very poor we need to get to the corner to get even a single tower, I clutched the phone and kept my hands inside the pockets and walked out of my cabin.

Weather this day is quite unsupportive and I bet all the plans are about to get cancelled- no one could be happier than me.

Urvi’s not in the room since the time I woke up, even bathed and now when I am by myself going out, she must be with her boyfriend.