The Devil Wears Pink (Ben Hargreeves) [discontinued]

CHAPTER ELEVEN - GOODBYE DEVIL

ah yes, your worst memory. i remember this one, do you?

"like it was yesterday" lilith replies, watching her younger self pace in front of the bathroom mirror nervously, lilith remembered this day because it was the day her whole world had stopped, as did her heart

"ben, i...i, i love you" the younger lilith stammers and stutters over her words, she runs a hand through her messy blonde hair and to lilith it was a miracle that it even went through to begin with

"damn it lilith, look at you; you're an ugly girl who eats people and is the epitome of social anxiety" the young lilith sighs and clutches the side of the sink

damn, who the hell made you have self esteem this dangerously low?

"i like to think it's my dad but i've recently realized that you are a top contender" lilith mutters, not taking her eyes off of her younger self

really? you just recently realized?

lilith rolls her eyes at that, continuing to listen to her younger self practice her confession to ben. if only she knew what was in store for the future, she'd tell him the minute they see each other

"ben, i lo-" the door suddenly swings open as both lilith's jump in shock. the door phases right through lilith and she lets out a sigh of relief, remembering that it was a memory. younger lilith however didn't seem as relieved as she was

"b-ben!" younger lilith exclaims in surprise. lilith looks up and sure enough her heart wrenches at the sight of ben. it hurt her so much to see him, it was the last time she and ben had a moment, and she wouldn't see him ever until the devil finally lets her die

"hey rose, i heard my name? what were you saying?" ben, sweet ben. charismatic, kind and lovable ben. her ben

he didn't deserve to die, it could've been lilith, satan knows that lilith lost her will to live so long ago, and yet death took away ben

has he always been this...pure? there's barely any trace of hate in his heart

lilith smiles gently and lets out a soft laugh "yup, that's ben alright"

the younger lilith stammers and nervously fidgets in front of him "i-i uhm...you know what it's nothing" young lilith waves him off and tries to move past him, but ben blocks her way and stares at her intently "no, you don't look fine, what's up?" he asks

ben had always been the sweetest person lilith knew, never hesitating to step in for the others when they needed help. but this memory will forever be engraved in her mind for being her biggest regret, not being able to tell him

young lilith takes a deep breath, and seemed to panic as ben raises the question. it was a memory, a thing of the past and something lilith could never change, and yet she hoped that her younger self would just swallow her pride and tell ben
but she didn't and lilith was not surprised

"ben, i...i lo..." lilith cringes as she watches her younger self struggle to get the words out, and she ultimately looked down at the floor not wanting to watch what came next

"i lost that book you lent me" younger lilith says quickly, trying to pry ben off of her back "i was too nervous to tell you"