Chap. 46 Leave

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"You're doing amazing, baby girl," River softly said as I tightly gripped his waist as he held me. "Don't go too fast now. We're not in a rush."

I mutely nodded as I willed every bone, muscle, and nerve in my body to work together so that one foot could land in front of the other. Red hot discomfort pulsed through me from my bullet wound. But I forced myself to continue on. "Almost there. Just to the doorframe then back, okay?"

My legs felt tired and all I wanted to do was rest, but I nodded again as I continued on. After a few moments, my foot shakily came into contact with the threshold of the doorframe. River smiled and kissed my cheek. "You did it baby girl. I'm so proud of you." I gave him a weak smile before we took the agonizingly slow steps back to my small uncomfortable bed. "How are you feeling?" he gently asked as I sat on the bed, too tired to lift up my legs and fully lie down in the bed.

"Tired," I admitted. "I just...I still don't feel safe here. I want to leave."

"Well, luckily for you, the doctors are hoping to get you out of here today," River gently said. I'd been in here for nearly a week and though River never left my side, Liam came to visit whenever he could, and my father hadn't tried to have any contact with me, I didn't feel safe. I wanted to go back home. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, River," I said with a scratchy voice before he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. Just then, my nurse, whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me, walked in with a clipboard in hand.

"Hello, Cat," she greeted. "I see you've been walking."

"Yep."

"So, the doctor feels comfortable sending you home, but we just need you to do a breathing test then go over your medications. After that, you're free to go."

I nodded before she handed me a breathing instrument with a small weight in it that you blow into and the height of the weight determines how strong your breath it. I took a deep breath, despite my wound crying in protest, before I blew with all I had. I prayed that I'd done enough because all I wanted to do was go home and feel safe again and be away from where all the people I killed were. I had nightmares about them sometimes.

After I was done the nurse smiled as she wrote something down. "Very good. Very good. I'll run this to the doctor then the pharmacist should be in to talk to you about your meds. After that, I'll be back to help you check out."

"Thank you," River said for me.

"No problem," she said before she disappeared.

"You okay?" River asked me as he sat next to me on my bed.

"Yeah," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder before I sighed. "I'm actually not. So much has happened and I don't know how to handle it. I mean, first Shawn then Kenny then...then my mom...it's all too much. Now I find out my dad's been lying to me for most of my life and my boyfriend and best friends are constantly in danger in a life they might not be able to escape from. It's terrifying and I hate it." By now, involuntary tears started welling up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away. "I just want to be normal again, you know? I don't want to worry about if someone I care about is about to die or if my life is on the line or any of that. I just want it to be how it was before... but I don't think that can ever really happen. We'll always be running from one thing or another. I don't think I want to live like that."

"Baby girl, don't talk like that," River softly said as he gently cupped my face in his hands. "I know this life is hard on you, and I hate that I dragged you into it. But we will get out. I promise, and when I make a promise I keep it. Plus, one day we're going to start a family and when we do, I refuse to drag them into this the way I dragged you in. I will clean this up for all of us. Me, you, Mason, Liam, Brooke, Blake, everyone. Do you believe me?"

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