strings // newtmas au

bad guy

     "I don't know how it got out!" Newt screamed as he threw his bag against the tour bus wall. They left the taco place right after. "It was months ago!"

    "We can find out who took it. We-we can do something about this," Teresa said as she pulled at her hair.

   "You heard him! Janson said we're done if people find out!" Newt made a frustrated noise and kicked the couch.

   Thomas felt something weird twist in his stomach as he stood up and crossed his arms. "You know what Newt, why does it fucking matter?"

    "Because we're gonna get taken off the tour!" he snapped back. "You don't get that?"

    Thomas clenched his fists. "Sorry that some fucking tour is worth more than people knowing you're dating me."

   Newt frowned hard. "That's not it and you know it."

    "No it is!" Thomas yelled. He could feel himself getting worked up, everything he'd been wanting to say over the weeks finally pouring out. Teresa sat down, keeping quiet. "You can't just grow a pair of fucking balls and stand up to Janson! You got crazy jealous over me dating Teresa, a fake relationship you forced me into! You made me do this Newt, you did and I hated it but I did it for you."

    "Thomas how is that relevant right now?! I know you hate it, I do too, we fought about this before why are we doing it again?" Newt looked pissed, if Thomas himself wasn't so angry he would have found Newt's posture hot.

   "Because you can't do this one thing for me!" Thomas felt a huge weight off his chest when the words left his lips. "I-I did everything you asked me to! I held Teresa's hands, I looked at her the way I look at you, I always had my arm around her. I played the good fucking boyfriend to a girl I don't love so I could be with you. I mean fuck Newt all of this, all of this effort was for you and you can't do one thing in return for me."

   "Don't even say it's because I don't love you," Newt hissed at him. His eyes were rimmed red. "Don't you even bloody say that Thomas Edison because that's not true."

    "Then grow a pair of fucking balls Newt! Tell Janson we're not playing this stupid game anymore. Everyone knows we're dating so what? They already support us anyways!"

   "You don't get it Thomas!" Newt yelled back. Thomas heard the tour bus door close, he assumed that Minho and Teresa left.

    "Tell me exactly what I don't get!" Thomas demanded. His skin was hot, he was so mad he could barely focus. "Lay it all out for me Newt, go ahead, tell me exactly what I just keep failing to understand."

   "This! All this!" Newt pulled at his hair as he wiped away the hot tears on his cheeks. "This is my dream Tommy. This is what I want to be doing everyday for the rest of my life. The tour, the shows, the autographs, my guitar, this is what I'm supposed to do! This is the only thing I'm good at. T-this is what my life is going to be because this is who I am! You can't try and change that!"

   Thomas was crying now too, he could feel it, he could feel the wetness on his face. "I'm not in it then huh?"

    "What?"

   "This future you see yourself in, I'm not in it."

    "I never said that!" Newt snapped back. "You're still not understanding!"

   Thomas let out a frustrated noise. "Dating is a two way thing Newt. We're supposed to do things for each other. It doesn't work if it's only going one way!"

    "You can't make me pick!" Newt was basically screaming now. "You can't make me pick between you and this."

    Thomas threw his arms up in exasperation. "You can't keep putting the tour over me Newt. I get it, it's important to you, but I'm not doing this any longer, I'm not pretending Teresa is my fucking girlfriend any longer. I can't do it Newt. I can't. I'm living a fucking lie. I'm in the closet again because of stupid old homophobic fucker." Thomas let out a breath as he pushed his hair from a face. "Maybe I shouldn't have even come at all."