Am I Even Living? ~ Swetty (Discontinued)

4.

Sensitive topics such as abortion are talked about in this chapter.

Betty POV:

It's been about a week since I found out I was pregnant, things haven't gotten any easier. Every day is a new day I need to lie to Josh. How would I even tell him that he could have a brother, that would technically also be my child as well.

The morning sickness hasn't stopped this past week. 5 am sharp I run to the bathroom and spill my guts out into the toilet. Thankfully each time I throw up Fp comes and calms me down. He knows how stressed I am right now, so his support is really the only thing getting me through this.

It was yet again another morning where I raced to the bathroom. I began instantly throwing up over the toilet. As I involuntarily threw up I heard Josh's tiny feet walking to the bathroom. Him being the sweet and caring brother that he is, he stood beside me and rubbed my back.

After I was done throwing up I heard FP walk into the bathroom, he noticed Josh and politely told him to go eat breakfast so I didn't have to worry about Josh right now. I looked up to him and gave him a thankful look, he gave me a smile in reply.

Fp knew how weak my body was due to all the changes that were occurring to me. He gently picked me up and took me back to my bed. He sat down next to me and tried to give me a smile, trying to calm me down for what was going to happen today. Today is the day I'm scheduled to have my abortion.

I hate that I'm killing a living thing, but this is my dad's child, this is the child of my father who raped me. I knew that there'd be no way in my heart I'd be able to love this child.

I hate the situation Hal has put me in. I hate him. I wish he and Alice just left, left me and Josh to live on our own. I mean I've practically been doing it all my life, I don't need them, in fact they need me for their reputation.

If anything were to happen to their precious daughter or their handsome son as the media like to portray us, all blame will be on my parents. They'd become the laughing stock of the town, with headlines such as 'The Coopers can't even look after their own children. Tragic'.

Josh and I determine our parents but they rule me. Even though it seems like I have power over them, at the end of the day I don't. All I have is Josh and my friends.

I came back to reality and looked at Fp. He looks cool, calm and collected, he was probably only trying to do that for me. On the inside he probably doesn't even know what to feel, I mean he's looking after someone else's child who is pregnant. If I was him I would've ditched me. But then again he's a better person than me, he's saved me. He's saved me multiple times.

Fp: are you ready for today? He asked carefully.
Betty: ready as I'll ever be. I said with a soft sigh as I looked up to him. He gave me a sorry look.
Fp: I'll be there the whole time, okay? He said supportively.
Betty: thank you Fp, for everything. I said as I embraced him in a hug. He smiled and hugged me back.
Fp: you know you're like a daughter to me. He said. I hugged him tighter.

Never in my life had my dad said something so sweet. My parents could really take notes from Fp.

Fp: come on, let's go downstairs. He said. I nodded my head and we walked into the kitchen.

I took a seat next to Josh. He looked up to me with a smile before he went back to eating his breakfast.

We had been sitting peacefully for about five minutes when Josh must have noticed I wasn't eating anything.

My doctor told me that I couldn't eat 6 hours before my appointment.

I hate even thinking about what's going to happen today.