it's a match | andrew siwicki

14. Mommy Issues

Lexie intertwined their fingers as he led her towards the water. She looked back to the beach and saw the cameras pointed towards them. She smiled at them and gave a small wave. Garrett and Morgan waved back and that made her happy.

"Hey," she tugged at Andrew's hand as their feet made contact with the cold water. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be so dramatic back there."

Andrew turned his body to face hers and smiled at her. "Please don't be sorry. Just because you agreed to be in this series doesn't mean you have to agree to everything." He grabbed both sides of her arms and gave her a gentle rub before pulling her in for a hug.

She hugged him back and nuzzled her face into his chest. "Tell me about your mom," she said as they let go and walked further into the water.

"She's a nice lady. I don't know," he laughed. "I had a pretty normal childhood. My fondest memories with my parents and siblings are mostly just hanging out, watching game shows on TV, going to Church and having brunch on Sundays... It was hard to leave something so familiar and move to LA after I graduated college." Andrew smiled down at the girl who was looking at him in awe. "I miss my mom. I visit home on the major holidays and call her as often as I can. I probably should make more of an effort for her, but it is what it is."

"I'm sure you do what you can," she said, gripping his hand in her smaller one. "She's probably so proud of you for following your dreams and knows that you're doing what's best for you. That's all a mom could want, right?"

"Yeah, I know she's proud of me. I'll go see her soon though. Maybe after this series comes out," he says.

She laughed. "So in like three months?"

"Hey....."

They fell into a comfortable silence; they held hands and wadded in the water. He tried to splash her but she told him to watch for her makeup.

"You probably wanna hear about my mom, right?" she asked, letting go of his hand.

Andrew shook his head. "Not if you don't want to talk about."

The water was at Andrew's waist now, and he gripped Lexie's hips to hold her up in the water. "I think I'm just nervous because... you know how people always say that they want a partner who's close to their family and stuff?" Andrew just nodded his head. "I'm not really... I never felt like I belonged in my family. I was never Asian enough for my mom's side and never White enough for my dad's side. It really made me feel like an outsider in my own home and I had a strained relationship with my mom because of it."

She paused and he worried for her. "Lex, if you're not ready to talk about this stuff with me, I understand." His arms circled around her and held her by the waist.

Lexie shook her head and continued, "It's ok... It's something you'll learn about eventually so might as well. My dad always tried to help me embrace my culture, but my mom was adamant that I was American and she was ashamed of where she came from. As I grew up, I began to resent her because it felt like there was a whole part of me I didn't know about because she repressed our heritage. We fought about this all the time. I left for college to get away from her." She pursed her lips, unsure how to say the next part. Reassured by the circles Andrew traced into her back, she took a deep breath. "LA was everything I wanted it to be. I loved my school, my friends, and I even dated someone seriously for two years. So while I was having the time of my life here... my mom passed away suddenly. I got a call from my dad in the middle of the night telling me that she was gone."

"Oh, Lex..." was all Andrew could say as he gripped her tighter.

He worried that she would cry and he wasn't sure if he could stand to see her like that, but she didn't. Her eyes watered, but no tears fell. She laughed nervously. "I went home for the funeral and it's been three years and it still doesn't feel real to me. I have a good relationship with my dad now because of it, but... there's just a part of me that doesn't have closure from it all."