Dylan came home.
He seemed a bit off. But I really, right now, didn't have him as my number 1 priority.
"Henry, I think we should talk."
"Huh? About what?"
"About us."
Please begin so I'm not the one who ends it every. single. time.
"Henry, you know I care. I hope you care about me as well. But, I don't think we are well together. Trust me, you're one of the bel ragazzi I have ever met. I feel like neither of us are fully in this relationship, and would work better apart."
"I do care about you (I really do) and I'm glad you know that. I'm so sorry because you really are such an amazing guy, you treated me so well. Right now, having a relationship wouldn't be the best idea, for me at least."
"I love you Henry, but I think only as friends?"
Thank god.
"I love you in the same way."
He was expecting a different reaction, but he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Friends?" I said,
"Friends." He smiled.
Thank god.
He never moved in so we never had the issue of worrying about where he could live, it was a pretty easy break up.
He grabbed his few jumpers and we hugged goodbye. The relationship always felt a bit like a chore.
He's a great guy, just not for me.
I wonder if Ted's number still worked,
While making dinner I decided that's when I would try and call him.
"Alexa, call Ted!"
"Ted home phone or Ted mobile?"
I didn't even realise I had his home phone,
"Mobile."
My alexa rung and rung till eventually no answer.
"Alexa call Ted home phone"
I lost a bit of hope. I doubt it'll work if his mobile didn't.
"Hi, this is Ted Richards who's this?"
"Ted! It's Henry!"
"Henry? You okay?"
"Yeah I just," What do I start with? "Me and Dylan broke up." Great start,
"Wait that's not my fault is it?"
"No, he ended it actually. He said we worked better as friends."
Silence. Maybe he felt worried.
"I'm sorry man, do you want me to bring some ice cream?"
He's cute.
"I'd prefer you to just come over on your own."
He shuts something, I don't know what.
Probably his laptop.
"Uh, cool. I'll be over around 5."
5 o'clock can't come soon enough.
The door bell rings and I practically throw myself out of the lounge and to the door.
Calm down Henry, god. Desperate much.
"Hey!" He did the peace sign again.
Was this a new thing?
Cute.
"Hi!"
He handed me a bag, it had two pots of BnJ Phish Food.
My favourite ice cream.
"Thank you, but you really didn't need to, I'm not really that upset that we broke up."
He widened his eyes, I wish I could read his mind. However sometimes he says his thoughts out loud, this was not one of those moments,
"It was mutual."
He nodded his head instead of replying.
Does he even know what that means?
We sat on the sofa and ate a pot of ice cream each.
We decided to binge Brooklyn 99 season 5, and it was great. Even though we didn't speak, things felt normal. Somehow, as the series progressed, we came and sat closer to together.
I let my head just rest on his shoulder, and I could tell he was a bit confused at first but he kept his relaxed posture.
"Henry. I think," I sat up, "We should talk, about everything that's happened."
He's right. I put my feelings over his.
"I'm sorry."
He sighs, "I just. I want to know why? Why did you just end it? I didn't even know that anything was wrong."
Why did I end it? I instantly regretted it.
I felt entitled to making him learn something, and I didn't even tell him.
I was so incredibly selfish.
I hadn't even thought about what he could've been going through, I hadn't even thought about how it would affect him.
"I made a mistake. I wanted to stop you hurting people, but instead... I hurt you, more than you deserved. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I pushed you away. It was unfair, but I didn't want to think that until you came back into my life."
He never left it, I just ignored him. I shouldn't have done that.
So. Many. Things. That I regret.
I probably made him think that he'd done something wrong when really, he hadn't. It was me that had done something wrong.
I couldn't have messed up more.
His eyes seem to glaze over, is he ok?
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
Why didn't I?
Idiot.
Idiot.
Idi-
Even if he was upset he wouldn't want me calling myself that.
He had changed, I just didn't notice.
This wasn't about me, it's about him.
"Honestly, I don't know. I should've. You deserve better than that," Making it about yourself again Henry, "You were so incredibly caring, you still are. I actually have this friend, she's lovely, and she needs a guy like you."
"Stop Henry, you know I don't just fall for anyone."
He kissed my cheek and I felt like I've told him as much as I could.
I just want to redo that day all over again. That way I never would have lost him.
"Ted I just feel so bad."
"Don't overthink it. It is from the past."
