Out of the Dark

Chapter Nine

Classes were long over by the time I returned to my dorm from a day of skipping school with Eddie. Our time together put me so at ease that I almost forgot what paranoia and anxiety felt like. Until I found Cat waiting for me, sitting at the foot of my bed.
"Where have you been?" She demanded, folding her arms across her chest.
"Around," I shrugged. "I took a mental health day."
Caitlyn rolled her eyes.
"Well the next time you decide to take a mental health day, how about checking in to the guidence office or with Mrs. Tweedie? Not only do I have so much to talk to you about- but all of your teachers managed to track me down to ask where you were. I'm not covering for you again, so get it together."
This was the most we had said to each other in weeks.
"Okay, I will." I agreed. "What do you need to tell me?"
Suddenly, Cat looked about two inches tall, and more helpless than ever.
"I feel like my brother is avoiding me, has he said anything to you? Is he mad at me for something?" Her voice was small when she asked, and guilt washed over me. He'd been avoiding her to keep our secret; and now, with her being a visible mess in front of me, sneaking didn't feel very fun anymore. In fact, it just felt mean. I had to tell her. I sat down across from her on her bed. There would never be a perfect moment, and I didn't want to hurt my best friend. My hands wouldn't stop shaking in my lap.
I wondered if she might try to fight me. She'd been in her fair share of fights in middle school, maybe she was over it. Would she still even want to be my friend?
I'm gonna be sick.
As badly as I wanted to explain the situation and beg for forgiveness; a part of me decided that I shouldn't have to feel sorry about who I want to be with. The only thing I had to apologize about was not telling her sooner.
"What's your deal?" She asked, cutting through my thoughts.
I cleared my throat and tried to think of the right words to say. Before those words came to mind though, I blurted out the first thing I could think clearly.
"I've been seeing Justin for a little over a week, It's getting serious kind of fast." It wasn't entirely the truth. It had been closer to a couple of months that Justin and I had been sneaking around to see each other. I justified the white lie in my head by pointing out to myself that we didn't start talking about getting seriously involved until a week before this talk.
I'm sure I looked physically ill after hearing the words come out and hang so awkwardly in the air.
Cat's jaw dropped.
"What?" She asked.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to look her in the eyes.
"That sounds bad... I... we," I couldn't breathe. "We have liked each other for a really long time, but we never wanted to upset you... but after last year we just thought we shouldn't put it off any longer."
Caitlyn was seething with rage.
"You shouldn't put it off any longer? What, like you're destined to be with my brother?" She spat.
I sat down on the edge of my bed and tried to think.
"I don't know! Maybe? We need a chance to at least figure that out, don't you think?"
Cat shook her head in disbelief and sat down on the bed.
"Maybe." She sighed. "Jesus, Annie. What the hell. A week and you haven't told me?"
I didn't have the courage to tell her it had been longer, and so I just shrugged.
"I was afraid..." I admitted. "Do you still want to be my friend?"
Cat rolled her eyes.
"You know too many of my secrets for me to just get rid of you." She teased. "Besides, at least I know you've never thought about cheating in your life, and you're always pretty invested in your relationships. I'm actually shocked that my brother hasn't had a girlfriend like that before. But I swear to God, Annie, if you tell me anything about my brother that I don't want to know, I will kill you. Both of you."
She was obviously still upset with me but I was relieved to find that at least she wasn't devastated.
I sighed and finally relaxed a little.
"Thank God." I breathed.
The air was still pretty tense but I think it was because of my own anxiety.
"So you're not mad?" I asked slowly.
Cat rolled her eyes and shook her head at my question.
"Look, I'm upset that my best friend wants to be with my brother, but honestly, he's a good guy. So I get it." She explained in a way that made me think that maybe she was trying to convince herself that things weren't so bad. "Besides, you guys have been into each other since we were kids. Everyone can tell. It's weird, but I'll live."
I understood where she was coming from, and appreciated her for how calmly she was handling the situation. My chest loosesned up and my shoulders relaxed.
"Are you just being nice because I almost died last year?" I asked suspiciously.
Cat shrugged and offered me a sweet smile.
"Maybe. But don't you love it?" She teased. She kicked her shoes and backpack into her closet before sitting back down at the foot of her bed.
"Cat?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah?" She responded before grabbing a book off of her night stand. She'd been reading Dreamcatcher for two days, and was already halfway through.
"Could you let Justin tell the guys? I think It's kind of important to him. He practically exploded into a million pieces from keeping it from you." It was probably rude to assume that Cat would tell everyone before Justin got a chance, but as history had shown; rude was usually right.
Cat shot me a challenging sort of expression.
"Only if he beats me to it. I refuse to promise, because, well you know my mouth." She shrugged playfully.
She was right. And at least she hadn't promised me like every other time she told my business to somebody else.
I took out my cell phone and texted Justin everything that happened. I knew he'd be thrilled.
"Oh God, does this mean I have to see you guys make out and say corny regurgitated lines to each other every day, now?" Caitlyn looked horrified.
I laughed at her and shrugged.
"Oh, Kitty Cat, you already know that's a no. You can get up and leave whenever you want." I joked.
She rolled her eyes and changed the subject. Kind of.
"So Zack is pretty cute, right?" She asked.
"That came out of nowhere," I chuckled. "Sure, I guess. Why?"
Her cheeks were red and she wasn't looking me in the eyes. She had a crush on him.
"No reason. He's just been a lot nicer lately... and God he is so cute." She said in an admiring tone.
"Oh totally. No reason at all." I laughed.
"Shut up," Cat rolled her eyes. "Do you think he likes me?"
How could both of them be so oblivious if they spent so much tine together?
"Here's an idea; stop being mean to him, and just tell him you think he's cute." I made it a point to sound as annoyed as I felt.
"Come on, can't you just get the scoop for me?" She whined. She stuck out her bottom lip when she pouted. It was a trick that only ever worked on her boyfriend's and her father.
"No way, I have enough of my own boy problems. Call me when you guys decide to get married." I teased.
"So he does like me?"
It felt good speaking to her like this again. I had forgotten that even something so simple could help so much to pull me out of my own head.
"Just tell him you like him." I insisted, without giving away any other information.
Caitlyn shrugged and sighed.
"Maybe tomorrow. I want to finish this homework and get some sleep." She groaned.
I nodded in agreement.
"For once in my life I'm not exhausted and I don't know what to do with my life." I laughed.
"Why don't you go do gross stuff with my brother and give me some quiet time to study?" Cat offered in a slightly condescending tone.
"Maybe I will. I'll be back later." I sighed, putting my shoes back on.
"Don't get pregnant." Cat laughed. I stuck my tongue out at her before stepping out into the hallway and making my way to the boy's dormitory.