Forgetting Mr.

⋆ Freedom ⋆

It's been years now since that awful last encounter, the memories still sting. I was so hurt, even though I was the one who let him go. I was hurt for so long, and I never thought I would get over it. I thought the ghost of him and what we had would haunt me forever. I still dreamt of his face for years no matter how much I didn't want to. Eventually it got easier because my life was changing, and I was growing up. I broke out of my shell and made friends and eventually even met a wonderful man who I was lucky to call my boyfriend. It took me years to get over what happened, and I truly never thought I'd ever get into a serious relationship again but I did.

I was trying so hard to put it all behind me. I'd moved cities and started my life over, and it was the best thing I could've ever done because I left all that pain, sadness and guilt back at home. I promised myself I'd never let myself feel so terrible ever again, mostly because I knew that I couldn't handle ever feeling that way again. To feel the way I did back then, all over again was too scary of a thought for me. I buried it all so deep within me that anytime a memory would appear, I'd just push it all down further. Eventually it was catching up to me though, and I knew I had to get rid of all this baggage. I think the universe knew this as well, and granted me the gift of redemption.

It was a beautiful summer day, years later when I found myself sitting down in a coffee shop. It was a local cafe, and I had never been to it but something drew me towards it and I just knew I had to go inside. I sipped on my coffee just sitting there and trying to analyze this feeling I had, like something was about to happen. I couldn't explain it but I just felt it deep in my gut.

And sure enough, I heard it. My body froze, and my heartbeat sped up. That familiar voice that I would never forget. That voice that haunted me in my dreams. I turned my head and sure enough, there he was. He was smiling from ear to ear, holding a little girl's hand. I must have blinked about 50 times within a few seconds because I thought I had finally lost it, that I was seeing things. It wasn't until he turned around to find a seat, looked at me and froze. Looking at him, into his eyes I was transported through all of our memories, the good and the the bad, all replaying in my brain within a matter of a few seconds.

"Oh my god." He whispered aloud. And I just smiled softly towards him, my eyes tearing up. He walked over and I could see him more clearly now. He had a light tan, and a light beard going on. His hair was longer, falling to his shoulders.

"I bet you never thought you'd see me again." I said softly unsure of what else to say. It's been years, I truly didn't know what to say. I mean, what were the chances of us ever running into each other again? It was surreal. He smiled and introduced me to his daughter. She was beautiful, and she had his eyes. I then noticed his wedding band and I smiled up at him. "You're married." I said aloud and he chuckled scratching at the back of his neck. "Yeah. Yeah, I am." He smiled happily.

"I'm happy for you." I said softly. "This was all I ever wanted for you, to be happy. I hope you know that." I continued trying to keep myself from getting emotional. "Your daughter, I hope she knows how amazing her father is." I smiled down at her.

He starred at me, taking it all in. "You look so different, I almost wouldn't have recognized you. You're blonde now, and you look so grown." He smiled and I chucked in response.

"Yeah, you're telling me. You have a beard now! I mean, you used to hate beards!" I smiled and he chuckled holding his hands up in defence. "But yeah, I am grown. I'm surely not 16 years old anymore, no matter how much I wish. Growing up is weird." I smiled and he smiled back.

"I owe you an apology." He said softly, his face turning more serious. He sat his daughter down at the table behind me for a moment before looking back at me, and walking over slightly. "I am sorry. I am really sorry for everything." He said softly to me and I just smiled sadly towards him before glancing at his daughter happily eating her cookie. I looked back at him and for just a moment I saw him as I did so many years ago, young & naive just as I was. But he was not as young anymore and he surely wasn't naive. That was the past, and I think we both owed it to ourselves to shut this chapter in our lives and move on.

"It's okay. Don't be sorry. I think everything that happened, happened for the best." I said glancing once again at his daughter. "I'm just glad you're happy." I smiled at him.

"Are you happy?" He asked me softly.

I paused, briefly.

"Not always. But that's life isn't it?" I replied softly, looking up into his eyes I once used to just melt in. "I think it helps that I have wonderful people surrounding me." I said thinking of my lovely friends and my kind hearted boyfriend.

I started to pack up my things quietly. "Well I think I should probably go, if I drink another cup of coffee I'm afraid I'll never be able to sleep tonight." I chuckled. I packed my things in my bag before standing up awkwardly in front of him. My frame was still significantly much smaller than his considering he towered over me. I held out my hand for him, and he smiled before shaking it.

"Thank you." I said to him.

"For what?" He replied.

For loving and accepting me. For teaching me about love, and friendship.

For being you.

"You know what." I said softly to him and he just gave me a soft smile in return. I grabbed my bag and walked out not bothering to look back. As I walked outside and felt the warm sunshine on my skin, and light breeze tousle my hair, I came to a realization.

I finally felt free.

I was finally free.

And I hope he felt freed as well.