Into the Realm

November 25

So. I haven't written in awhile. I think part of me is thinking that since this journal was part of Mom and Dad's peace offering, not writing in it somehow prevents this whole thing from being real. But tomorrow is moving day, so there's no more pretending it won't happen. Thanksgiving was last week, so that was fun. We went to the Kipling house (we usually host, but most of our stuff was in boxes at that point), ate way too much food, watched stupid movies, played board games. All the "normal" stuff. But it wasn't normal, because, you know, we were MOVING in four days. Nicole and I did seriously consider the closet idea while we were hanging out in her room.

There were a couple of weird interactions throughout the day. At one point during dinner, I caught Tracy staring intently at my face. When she saw that I had noticed, she looked away. But a few minutes later I witnessed a wordless interaction between Tracy and Nicole out of the corner of my eye, where Tracy seemed to be pointing something out in my direction to Nicole, and Nicole shrugged. I'm probably reading way too much into it (or just seeing things), but it was weird...

And then there was the conversation with her brother. When we were in Nicole's room, Andrew poked his head in the door. Andrew has always weirded me out just a little bit. In many ways he's a very normal freshman boy - he likes sports, hates Spanish, thinks he's cooler than he really is... yeah. Normal freshman. But in other ways he's... Weird. I don't know. I've noticed he also seems to wear makeup. Like, literally has the same foundation Nicole does. And he doesn't try to impress the seniors as much as all the other freshman. He and his crew only show off in front of a few specific ones. But they're not even the popular seniors - it's a very weird conglomeration (of people who almost always ignore him). So he opened the door and peeked inside.

Nicole: What do you want, Andrew?

Andrew: For you to tell Mom and Dad that they should let me hang out with Corell and the gang tomorrow.

Nicole: No.

Andrew: Come ON, Nicole -

Nicole: NO, Andrew! Do you realize how awful those guys are? I don't want you hanging out with them any more than Mom and Dad do. Your friends suck!

Andrew's face darkened (once again, yes, I realize that's a ridiculous thing they say in novels. BUT IT DID, I SWEAR) and he snapped at his sister: All we want is a little freaking freedom. To be who we are!

Nicole (her face was darkening too, and her voice was deadly calm): And all WE want is for people to NOT notice us. What do you think the point of moving here was? Your "freedom" is just going to put us on the Council's radar. So STOP. (She was literally growling at the end of that sentence. I've never heard her growl before).

I thought about asking what the conversation was about, but decided to remain unnoticed. Andrew muttered "fine" as he stormed out of the room, and that was the end of that. Nicole looked at me, gave a little shake of her head that told me I wasn't supposed to ask, and I did my best to change the subject by asking about the fantasy book she had finished the day before. She squealed and started fangirling, and that was the end of that weird conversation.

Our families basically spent the entire weekend together. And then came today. Monday. Back to school for Nicole and Andrew, but for me, finishing the process of packing up all my earthly belongings to move them to some house in Minnesota I will be expected to call home. Dad and Karl (he came over to help pack boxes and stuff and will come again tomorrow to help load the moving truck) took my bed out of my room (we'll be sleeping on air mattresses tonight), and I put the last of my biographies into a box, along with my Ragtime playbill (I'm not really a huge musical fan, but when Nicole discovered the Ragtime soundtrack and forced me to listen to it, I had no choice but to love it. It's amazing). So, since I have nowhere comfortable to relax in my room, I'm currently sitting on the deck, looking at the ocean, wishing I could disappear into it.