Into the Realm

November 15

Apparently, we are moving to Linnet, Minnesota. I was sitting at my piano, relaxing with one of my favorite Chopin nocturnes after wearing my fingers practicing Bach. It's my after school aesthetic - playing piano with my back turned to the huge window that overlooks the beach, sun streaming in, probably the smell of my mom cooking yummy Japanese food or baking something for a party she's catering later. But this time she wasn't cooking anything, and I heard Mom and Dad walking down the hall towards me. They stood there for a couple minutes while I finished playing, and when I looked up they had that "we need to talk" face they always put on when they're concerned about me. The last time they had that face was when I was preparing for a piano contest and started skipping supper to practice more. So I swiveled on the bench to face them, and mom took a deep breath before starting.

Mom: Lily, we have something we need to talk to you about.

They moved (in unison) to sit.

Me: Okaaayyyy.

They sat there for a few more seconds and I lifted an eyebrow.

Dad, sighing: We're moving.

I'm not normally super loud anyway, but I've only been stunned into complete silence a couple of times. This was one of them. Mom and Dad looked at me like they were afraid I would break (which, to be fair, was probably a logical conclusion based on the fact that I realized a few seconds later I was holding my breath, and the world was spinning around my head. I know they say things like that in books, but I can now confirm it is actually true. The world was definitely spinning).

Me: Did I... hear that correctly?

Dad: Yes. Yes, you did.

Me: To somewhere else in California, or...?

Dad mumbled something. Dad never mumbles, so I knew he thought I would hate whatever he was saying. He was right.

Me: What was that?

Dad, still hardly speaking above a whisper: Minnesota. We're moving to Linnet, Minnesota. It's been clear to your mom and I that I needed a new job for a while now, and I just had this new opportunity come up and it seems like a really good fit and they're really impressed with my work and...

He was rambling now (which is really weird because just like he never mumbles, he NEVER rambles), but I tuned him out. I couldn't hear him over the roaring in my ears (I know, right? Funny how many things they say in books that you find out are actually true). It probably wasn't the best thing to do at that moment, but I just stood up and walked out. I needed to get away and process.

The first thing I thought about doing was texting Nicole. But there was also a part of me that couldn't fathom what I would say. I pulled out my phone and stared at it for at least 15 minutes, trying to figure out what to do. I put the phone down. I allowed myself to shrivel into my emotions (I don't think I even knew what my emotions were at that point, which is a large part of why I decided not to seek someone to talk to them about). I grabbed my earbuds, picked a Yiruma playlist (he's great for catharsis when you're depressed), and curled into a ball, waiting for my mom to come in and tell me it was a prank. A horrible, awful prank.

My mom DID come, but not to tell me it was a joke. She quietly opened the door, sat on the end of my bed, rubbed my leg. That's how it usually works - have Dad break it to me, then send in Mom to comfort me and implore me not to blame it on him. I don't completely blame it on him. Obviously, this was a decision they made together, and they wouldn't have made it if they didn't think it was "best". But what is their definition of best? Did they think about me? Did they picture my introverted, nerdy self without Nicole, trying to make friends in Minnesota? Ok, if we're being honest, they probably did. But I wasn't actually thinking all those things while I lay there. That's coming out now that I'm actually processing. My mind was just blank at that point. Like a white sheet blowing and tumbling in the wind of things, I can't control. I didn't take my earbuds out. I barely even acknowledged Mom's presence. After a few minutes of sadly staring at me, she left.

I did eventually go downstairs to eat dinner, but we didn't talk. I had no motivation to start a conversation, and Mom and Dad acted like they thought I would fall into a million pieces if they brought it up. And we all knew trying to talk about something else wouldn't work at that point. So we just awkwardly ate and pretended we were ignoring the elephant in the room. When we were done, dad said "they had something they wanted to give me", and they gave me a couple of piano books I'd been wanting for a while and this journal. Nice, Dad, but it doesn't make me ok with moving to MINNESOTA. Of all the places to move, why Minnesota? Where even is Linnet, Minnesota? Has anyone heard of it? What kind of name is Linnet?!

*****

Hello! I'm excited that you have decided to give my book a try, and I'm excited to be telling Lily's story! I hope she and I can bring some joy into your life. I know this is kind of a short first chapter, but hopefully it makes you want to read more :). In future, you will get to see Faeries and Naiads and Nymphs (oh my!), as well as some spicy political intrigue and the story of a girl who doesn't want her destiny. I hope you'll join me on the journey!

A little about me for those who didn't come from my profile: I'm a junior in high school, I live in a tiny town in the Midwest, and I'm kind of embarrassingly nerdy when it comes to classic literature, Broadway, and music. There may be some stories and rants in these author's notes, but I'll give warning so you can skip it if you want. My goal with this book is to post at least every other Sunday, and some on the Sundays in between if I have extra time.

Please, please, please give me feedback and constructive criticism! One of the advantages of posting on Wattpad is that I can get comments and feedback, so please don't let that advantage go to waste. If you have something helpful to say, say it (respectfully of course). And if you like it, please consider giving it a vote. It really means a lot.

Music: Chopin Nocturne, Op. 32 No. 1. Possibly my favorite Chopin nocturne ever.

Until next time, my Mushrooms :)