Mermaids And The Vampires Who Love Them

27. CUPID'S JEST

"Sometimes I have a hard time concentrating," I say. What I don't say is: especially when you're around, because I don't want Pierce to know the effect he has on me. "So, he'll think we walked to the meeting at the barn?"

"Nope," Cupid says.

A couple of small cars drive past the field we are standing on. Then, suddenly, Pierce steps into the middle of the road, as something sleek and powerful looking, the color of fresh blood, approaches. As it screeches to a halt, dirt flies everywhere.

The window of the car goes down. "What the hell, you idiot?" says the driver, a white-haired human with an immense belly and a few curls of white hair peeking over the top of his Hawaiian shirt. His driver-side door flaps open like a gull's wing, and the man hops out. Cupid is eying the shirt with utter disgust.

"I need to borrow your vehicle," Pierce says smoothly, gazing deeply into the human's eyes. "Would that be all right with you?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem."

"I'll need it for about an hour. That all right?"

"Of course. I'll just sit right here on this nice soft rock and read the Wall Street Journal while I wait. You take all the time you need," says the man. His eyes have a faraway, glassy look, as if his consciousness is ebbing like a receding tide.

"Philistine!" Cupid grumbles. "Some people should not be allowed to wear Hawaiian print." He waves his hand. I look back, and the man is now shirtless. Cupid is serious about fashion.

"Pierce, can't you just do that vampire juju hypnosis thing on the boss?"

"I will try, Waverly, but it only works on the weak-minded. Remember that."

We climb inside the car which smells like polished metal and leather and sunbaked algae. The immediate problem is that there are only two seats, and there are three of us. Cupid has made it clear that gods do not drive human vehicles, so Pierce takes the driver's seat, forcing me to sit on Cupid's lap. Pierce is practically snarling at Cupid and drops his fangs. The car vibrates with unleashed power. "You picked the car, dude," Cupid says with a satisfied smirk.

Between the two seats, there's a silver stick with a ball on top. Pierce jiggles it, and there's a horrible scraping sound.

"You do know how to drive, right?" says Cupid.

"Of course. Piece of cake."

"How much have you driven?" I ask.

"I used to watch my parents. Why, Waverly, you're turning white as a vampire." He pulls my face to his and kisses me possessively. I'm squirming on Cupid's lap. "Just kidding. I had my license for a year when I was a human. But I've never driven a manual transmission."

"What is that?"

"Never mind." He moves the stick, and suddenly the car is screaming down the dirt road in a cloud of dust, heading for the evil lair.

Once we arrive at the barn which looms over us, blocking the sun, I scan the grounds for Cyril, the donkey, and his pals but can't see them anywhere. This makes me uneasy. Did the humans discover that Cyril helped me? Poseidon's beard, I hope he and the mares are okay.

Cupid knocks on the front door. I adjust my wig, which is styled in a short neck-exposing, shiny black bob with thick bangs. The contact lenses are blue, and Lily-Bella has dressed me in a low cut black tank with tight black leather pants and boots. While we wait for someone to come to the door, Cupid keeps looking over his shoulder with hooded eyes, as if he's checking me out, just to piss off Pierce.

Cupid looks so handsome in his dark gray pants and jacket and crisp white shirt, a pink Gerber daisy in the lapel. He looks like a male supermodel. Pierce, though, makes Cupid look like a blobfish in comparison. My vampire is in a dark blue suit with a skinny blue tie. His dark hair is perfectly mussed, and his bright blue eyes flash with promises of seduction. All of this, combined with those dimples that suck you in like tiny whirlpools with no escape, practically makes me melt even in the shadowed entrance to the barn. I squeeze his hand hard; I want him to know he's the only vampire, I mean man, for me.