WoF OC Reviews

Princess Humpback

So when Tsunami - the lost princess - came out from her hiding, Humpback and her friends sided with her if it meant protecting Anemone and the last female egg in Corals last clutch.

After Auklet hatched, Humpback was overjoyed. Once again, she was given the job of babysitting the newcomer and - watched closely by Coral - taught her to swim. Currently, Humpback can be found helping out around the castle, sweeping, teaching, training. She sees her siblings every now and again, but her loyalties are to Coral and her family.

It's an excellent backstory! It could use a major event, though. Everyone has a major event in their lives, so Humpback should have one of those. It could be anything, from finding a lover, the death of a loved one, etc.

Residence: Queen Coral's Castle

Makes sense

Family: Mariana (mother)(large, slim, dull-colored light slate-blue female SeaWing dragon with denim underscales on her wings and chest. Her wing membranes are a peacock-blue that fade into a very pale sapphire. Peacock eyes)(Name Reasoning: Mariana Trench, also called Marianas Trench, deep-sea trench in the floor of the western North Pacific Ocean)

Right

Megladon (father)(large, well-muscled dark navy blue male SeaWing dragon with peacock-blue underscales and sky-colored wing membranes. Denim eyes)(Name Reasoning: Megalodon, meaning "big tooth", is an extinct species of shark that lived approximately 23 to 2.6 million years ago, during the Early Miocene to the end of the Pliocene)

I won't take off any points, but his name is misspelled lmao

Stonefish (older brother)(short, but long-bodied flint-grayish-blue male SeaWing dragon with lapis-blue underscales on his belly and on the undersides of his wings. The membranes are silverish colored like his eyes, and his glowing scales are arctic-blue)(Name Reasoning: stonefish are poisonous fish that dwell on the seafloor)

Right

Cuttlefish (older sister)(tall, lapis-blue female SeaWing dragon with azure blue underscales on her stomach and chest. Arctic eyes)(Name Reasoning: Cuttlefish or cuttles are marine molluscs of the order Sepiida. They belong to the class Cephalopoda, which also includes squid, octopuses, and nautiluses. Cuttlefish have a unique internal shell, the cuttlebone)

Yep

Krill (little brother)(small, navy blue male SeaWing dragon with pinkish-blue underscales and mint-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: Krill are small organisms that are the main diet of baleen whales)

Uh-huh

Kelp (little sister)(sleek dark mint-colored female SeaWing dragon with dark navy underscales. Seagoam wing membranes and sage-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: Kelp is a type of ocean plant that dwells on the seafloor)

Kelp is canon, but they were mentioned very briefly, so it's ok

Friends: Bottlenose (large, slate-blue female SeaWing dragon with bright white glow scales that match her eyes (blind))(Name Reasoning: Bottlenose dolphins are a common species of porpoise or whales)

Right

Leech (huge, well-muscled dark periwinkle male SeaWing dragon with azure blue eyes and navy underscales)(Name Reasoning: a leech is a bloodsucking freshwater organisn)

I recommend changing this, since freshwater organisms are more for MudWing names, whilst seawater organisms are more for SeaWings

Clam (small, skinny female SeaWing dragon with peacock-blue underscales and mint-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: clams are common ocean organisms)

Yep

Husband: None

Crushes: None

Dragonets: None

Right

Enemies: Whirlpool

Friggin Whirlpool

Personality: Humpback is a very sweet, but sarcastic and rather boring SeaWing. She can be lazy, but has a fondness for young dragonets. Though she was eligible, she has no wish to rule her tribe and prefers to teach and babysit the Queen's dragonets. Humpback is also very clumsy due to her limited sight and gets frustrated easily.

I like her, but she could be more... well, interesting. I think you should make her less bland, truthfully. Maybe she's practical, or enthusiastic, or logical. You need to add more interesting traits.

Fears: None

OK

Overall Review:

The Good Parts::

— The abilities are good

— The appearance is good

— The backstory is mostly good

— The names are all pretty good

— She's realistic

The Bad Parts::

— The backstory is lacking a major event

— The personality is too boring

How To Improve + Suggestions:

For the backstory — Just add a major event. It could be anything; just as long as it's a major event that affected her life and/or her relationships.

For the personality — Make her personality a LOT more interesting. In fact, erase that "rather boring" part altogether. Maybe make her fidgety or defensive, or adventurous or enthusiastic or rational. Make her less boring.

I suggest — Adding some jewelry to Humpback's appearance.

I suggest — Changing Leech's name to something more oceanic.

My Rating:

9.5/10

Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)

Realism: 23/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of major event in her backstory)

Interest: 22/25 (3 points knocked off for the personality)

Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)