Little in progress - Yoonmin

Part 73: Mental health

Yoongi persisted "It does because first of all something was making you frown. And secondly, your whole shirt comment not being you not wanting me to see but being you thinking I don't want to see or whatever. I want to know what was going on Chim. I want you to know you can talk to me. I want to be someone you can lean on and someone who can help you in AND out of little space. You mean the world to me and you my baby no matter what."

Jimin didn't want to answer but knew he'd have to at some point so flushed pink from the comments and with embarrassment as he sadly admitted "I... I've not been doing as much exercise recently and I've been eating a lot more so I've put on a bunch of weight again... And... A-and... I give up."

Yoongi's heart broke a little but he assumed something like that was going on especially with the heads up he'd reconvened before even talking to Jimin properly when their project started.

He said "What? Chim since I've met you you've only started to look healthier. When I first met you you were so small and frail and I genuinely thought you might break. Now you look a lot more healthier and I still think you could get away with eating more." Trying to offer comfort and actual help since Jimin was still quite a bit under weight from not eating as much again.

Jimin mumbled "It still doesn't change things..." causing Yoongi to ask "Change what things? You can talk to me Chim. Please don't forget that."

Jimin let out a frustrated sigh as he 'confessed' "I'm... i'm fat hyung, not that there's anything wrong with having fat or anything, people are beautiful but I'm just- not. I was ugly anyways but the more weight I put on the fatter I got on top of my ugly and I look at all these beautiful people and I can't see myself like them. It doesn't suit me. Nothing does and nothing will and both are too much to handle and it's making the fight in my head harder a-and-"

Yoongi's heart officially shattered.

Jimin shattered his heart.

"Park Jimin, you handsome son of a bastard. You are not fat. And you are not ugly. And even if you were fat, which you aren't, I would still love every part of you and think your perfect because there's nothing wrong with having more to love. You even know yourself it's okay and can see the beauty where there's confidence but you can't find that in yourself even though your the most perfect human I've ever met. Yes you have a beautiful face... and body- ahem. But as long as it's healthy and also makes you happy, both being important, there is nothing wrong with how you look. And appearance is only a trivial thing at that because it's personality which matters. The only thing being wrong is you not telling your hyung you have a Sixpack."

Jimin was moved and appreciated Yoongi's attempt at humour but still tried to insist "Hyung-" getting cut off before he could.

"I'm serious Chim. So please eat all of your meals, even when you don't want to or they seem like an inconvenience or you don't know what to eat. And please don't criticise yourself on something as trivial as appearance when one your blind -literally I know you need glasses and are just to lazy to wear them, and two you'll never see yourself as perfect as I see you or as perfect as you aim to be because nine times out of ten you'll always find something wrong. Even though there's nothing."

Jimin frowned thinking back on his past so actually confessed "But I was told... that your supposed to be thin but muscular and handsome and tall a-and sharp looking and that I was always fat growing up by father and his friends and how I'll never be a real man and that I'm ugly like a frog and..."

Yoongi really hated Jimin's father.

He pointed out "Whatever your father has ever told you is a lie. You and I both know he's stupid. And clearly his friends are too but their opinion shouldn't matter. I know me saying 'omg Jiminie Oppa your so handsome and cute and you have such a great body like damn your ass and thighs. Suffocate me daddy.' Won't help but I need you to come out of this conversation knowing two things- maybe three." Trying to make humour at the end knowing that bringing in Jimin's family to anything made it a whole new level of depressing for the small boy and he didn't want that.

He hated seeing his Jiminie broken.

He wanted to protect Jimin, he wanted to be his light but also wanted him to be his own.

Jimin appreciated Yoongi's effort and chuckled as a sad tear escaped his eye as he said "One being that those words have never left your mouth before and I never want them too again." Internally cringing even though his mind and self image was all over the place, only Yoongi would be able to make him laugh genuinely with no bitterness in that mental state.

Yoongi shook his head and said "Make that four then." Before listing what he needed to say.

"First of all your dads full of bull. Second of all, ideally you should be aiming to put on a bit more weight so your not significantly under it so your healthy and don't have to deal with health risks but hyung will be here no matter what to support you. Thirdly, your perfect and I will list every perfect part of you and kiss then if I need too. And the forth is I will never say that again, unless it's to tease you or lighten the mood - orrrr you secretly have a bunch of kinks, which for you my sweet Park Jiminie I will suffer to make you smile."

Jimin smiled as he said "I have the best boyfriend ever." As Yoongi got up off of his torso and actually hugged him.

A proper hug which offered more understanding than words.

He knew Yoongi said it because he cared and he knew Yoongi wouldn't lie to him even though a part of him thought he was.

But Jimin also knew that had something to do with his mental health which he avoided talking to anyone but Jin too about prior to Yoongi but now he had someone who was there in person and could actually hold him and tell him everything's okay and he'd actually feel safe.

Yoongi didn't even realise just how much help he was giving him but it was progress.

Jimin was making progress.