Life, Lilies and Surf

Chapter 15

The change in weather brings in some elation in the hearts of people.  Latha was also feeling somewhat happy and her baby had grown up.  It had started crawling and now and then, with heroic efforts tried to stand up, holding nearby support of furniture.  It was all very interesting and amusing to see her baby's pranks.  The inquisitiveness of the baby was most wonderful to watch. Everything near her, she would grasp and look carefully.  The amount of curiosity and keen attention with which she picked up things and examined them and licked them to judge the edibility was so funny.  Exploring all the nook and corners of the house was a serious and joyful exercise for the baby Veena and she did it with as much zeal as Columbus had for discovering and exploring distant new lands.  Trying to stand up and take a few steps was a heroic achievement for the toddler.  It made her happy and giggle when she could do it even with partial success. Standing by grasping the arm of a chair, Veena would look triumphantly at Latha and give a broad smile to communicate that she was pleased with her success in standing on her legs.  Children are most inquisitive and most interesting.  Babies appreciate every thing that comes their way and never stop learning .  They touch, hold, hug, lick and taste everything that comes to their hand during their exploratory rounds.  Adults cannot have such unabated learning process.  It is also the most interesting period for the parent.  Latha enjoyed it all.

Bhaskar was not to be found for enough hours at home to take part in this pleasant  period of parenting.  He seemed to be busy outside most of the time.  His excuse was that he had lots of work in the office.  He was also talking now and then about Geetha and praising how she was a good friend in whose company time was flying.  Latha did not counter him during these conversations.  Was it time flying or he was flying with no feet on the ground, she used to wonder.  She thought or wanted to think he was busy in the outside world and not with Geetha.  Looking after the baby and attending to the household chores of the baby was not his dish.  He belonged to the generation which thought it was all the job of the mother to do things for the baby.  But why he was not finding time to be with his baby and enjoy her pranks and moods ? Was he not missing the pleasure being with his baby ? She wondered whether she was consoling herself or fooling herself.  Being a working mother, she did not have the luxury of having sufficient time to go over these things for long.

Bhaskar used to bring Geetha to home on holidays and festival days.  He would say that they were on their way to handle some office work together.  As days went by, Geetha started coming of her own to pay visit to Latha's house.  Whenever she was visiting Latha, when Bhaskar was there, invariably she would take the baby in her arms and play with her.  This made a very good impression on Bhaskar and not on Latha. Sometimes she would come alone to Latha's house and chit chat with Latha and Lahtha's mother.  She never lost an opportunity to praise Latha's mother Mangalm for the tasty snacks and good filter coffee that were  assiduously prepared and served by Mangalam.  And that made a good impression about her on Mangalam. When Latha's father Subbu happened to be there on a short visit to Delhi, Geetha very carefully behaved demurely and also touched his feet on seeing him. Subbu was very much impressed by this gesture.  Even without servicing a ritual, here was a girl prepared to touch his feet.   When rituals were performed by him, the host had to be told to do namskaram to him when dakskhina was offered.  Every one in the house, Latha felt with sadness, had been taken in by the show put up by Geetha. Where would all these lead to, she wondered with remorse. 

The baby had grown and was able to walk and say some words. Latha was talking to the baby in Tamil and the words she picked up were only in Tamil.  But Geetha always commented that this was not good and she should talk to her baby in English as she was doing.  So the baby also picked up a few English words.  Strangely, Latha's parents were also for this mode of communication in English.  "Don't make your baby become a country girl speaking Tamil. You must talk in English only to the baby so that she does not have any disadvantage as you had".  This was what Mangalam was insisting, silently acquiesced by her father also. 

"I have not lost by being able to start talking in Tamil. You both always talked to me in our mother tongue.  I am none the worse for it.  Actually, English or any other language can be easily learnt in school.  That is better than picking up English as mother tongue, whose mother is not English.  I learnt English formally in school and as Bernard Shaw said that was better." That was what Latha used to say now and then; but that carried no weight with them. 

The rejoinder from them was, "Who is Bernard Shaw ? Some Anglo Indian colleague of yours? Did he also pick up English as they only have English as mother tongue?"

Latha felt lost. She used to reply, "Forget it .  It was an Englishman and a great author."

"But why should he learn English in school? If he was an Englishman his mother should have spoken to him in English from childhood.  Then there is no need to learn English in school.  Possibly was his mother dumb ?"

Latha gave it up. "Leave it mother.  I would also try to talk in English prose with the baby".

Strange are ways of some Tamilians. They think that they should bring up their children in the ambience of English lingua franka.  This attitude is more pronounced among Tamilians, especially among so called forward castes and Brahmins, who consider themselves as custodians of their culture but bring up their children in mummy daddy lingua.  This is not so prevalent among other linguistic groups of Malayalam, Telugu, Hindi, etc.  Bengalis and Maharashtrians think English language mode of  bringing up as most improper and they cherish their language.  If two persons of the above linguistic group meet each other, especially outside their linguistic territory, they invariably prefer to converse in their mother tongue.  This cannot be said so with many a Tamilian, as I have observed.   They speak to each other in English or Hindi when they meet outside their state and even in their own state. This statement is not to be taken as a criticism but it is a state of affairs noticed by many.

Latha's father was failing in health.  The climate of Delhi did not suit him.  He also missed very much the ambience of Madras.  So the eventful decision was taken that he would go back to Madras permanently and not look back at Delhi.  He was prepared to manage his life alone with the help of his relatives in Madras and he left.

After he left Delhi, Mangalam became the sole proprietor of Latha's household.  Latha was busy in the office; Bhaskar spent less and less time at home.  So Mangalam became the all in all in the house.  The reduced at home time of the son in law and daughter made Mangalam have full sweep of the territory. 

Latha was slowly getting bored with Delhi and being a Madras girl, she missed Madras, its ambience, its cultural and religious atmosphere.  She felt she should go back to Madras and asked for a transfer to Madras.  This was agreed to by her Department head and she got transfer orders to Madras.  Lady officers' wishes were generally considered more sympathetically than that of male officers by the bosses.  There was also the practice of keeping the husband and wife in the same station.  So Bhaskar also got orders transferring him to Madras without his asking. 

End of Chapter 15