The Phoenix Returns

Chapter 10 - Tap Out

(Scarlett's POV)

It's was early in the morning, that I knew.

The boys were still sleep, and they would be for a bit longer. Me on the other hand, was completely and totally wide awake.

I've been laying here for about ten minutes staring at the plain white ceiling above me trying to figure out how I got in this position after I told myself that this is not who I am.

The first chance I got, I fucked it up.

I took it there.

I let him take me there.

I should have known that I wasn't going to be able to resist him, no matter what.

I stayed looking at the ceiling because I didn't want to face the person and the truth lying next to me; Kyson. We kissed last night. Kissed more than once. He wanted to do more, but I wasn't going to do that to him when he was drunk, and incapable of making bright decisions.

He has a girlfriend, for God's sake!

I'm not the woman in his life, he has one.

I'm a home-wrecker.

That's why I felt obligated to stop us, to stop him. I already have enough to answer to, and breaking up him and his girlfriend was not going to be one of them.

I gave in as I turned to look at him.

Kyson.

Literally the love of all my lives.

The father of my beautiful boys.

I admire him, and cherish everything that he has ever done for me. I want to be with him, but I know that I can't. Our time was in the past, and if it is meant to be, then we'll make it back to each other. But right now, we have twin boys to think about now, they are our priority.

Kyson and I will just have to wait...

Sighing in sadness of my last thought, I turned away from Kyson and got up from my bed, grabbing the baby monitor on the way. Feeling wide awake now, I went to shower before the boys woke up.

I stood in cold water for a little bit as the kiss that Kyson and I shared last night continued to have its affects on me.

God knows I wanted him, but I felt dirty to take it there with him while he was under the influence.

The feeling that I get when he touches me is indescribable. I doubt that I will ever met another person that makes me feel half of what Kyson makes me feel when he touches me. Something like that has to be once in a lifetime, it seems too extraordinary. His embrace creates a barrier for me; no hurt, no pain, just happiness.

I don't know how he does it, but he does it well.

Rinsing my hair, I squeezed as much of the water as I could out of it before stepping from the shower. Throwing my hair in a towel, I dried my body with another, and lotioned ever inch of my body like I usually do. Hanging up my towel back to the hook, I went to unlock my bathroom door before pulling it open, in search for clothing.

Fully naked, I stood in the doorway looking at Kyson's slumber body before I realized that I was not alone. Almost slamming the door shut, I grabbed my forgotten towel on the back on the door.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Scar?" I scolded myself.

My commotion must have loud enough because when I opened the door again, Kyson was sitting up on the bed, holding his head.