Strawberries & Cigarettes

Strawberries & Cigarettes (Part 2)

He seem to know what I'm thinking.

"Don't blame yourself, Bas. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"How can I never noticed that you have been heartbroken these past few months when the other's can. What the hell I've been doing all this time?"

"They haven't noticed either. They just asked how is she, and I just told them."

"But I should know that something is not right! You've always noticed when I even have a slightest mood changes. This is huge! I mean, you broke up with your long time girlfriend. How stupid could I be!"

"Bas, listen to me. You're not stupid. I'm really sorry if I make you feel like a bad person for not telling you about it. I just don't want you to worry about me. And the reason why you didn't noticed how heartbroken I was, maybe because I am not that heartbroken."

I looked at him in confuse.

"I know how bad it seem sound, but I've been feeling that our hearts have been grew apart for a quite sometimes. And she felt it too. And that's why we decided to broke up. I'm not gonna lie, I feel sad at first, because we've been together for a very long time. But it's not something that I can't handle myself."

"I'm sorry, P'."

He ruffle my hair and smile.

"Don't be."

"But promise me that you will tell me if something bothering you. I want to be there for you when you need me P'. Just like you've always been there for me when P' Godt leaves the show and the recasting and the haters. I just want you to rely on me more, like I've been rely on you all this time."

"You have been there for me. You might be not realised it, Bas. But everytime I see you or even just hear your voice through the phone, you make me feel a lot better. No matter how bad my day was."

I turned to look at him in the eyes, trying to understand what his mean with those word. He keep his gaze firmly on the sky. His eyes sparkling. The wind blew his soft hair gently. Gosh, have I already said how breathtaking this man was?

"There's another reason why I broke up with her. I have a weird feeling toward this one person. He always so fun and comfortable to be around with. I like to spend my time with him. I like to hear his laugh. And I really hate to see him sad. At first I thought my feeling is normal, and I really care about him as my little brother. But then I start to keep thinking about him. And I feel like my day is turning to be a bad day when I don't see him or talk to him. Then I realised that I might be fall for this person. My friends start to realised it because they said that I was too obvious. Even my girlfriend noticed. She said that my face always lit up everytime I talked about this person. My friends always persuade me to confess to him. They somehow think that this person might be feel the same for me."

He then stop and turn his body to face me completely.

"But I scared. What if they all wrong? What if he only see me just as his brother? What if he hate me if he know that I like him more than just a friend. I mean, he is so beautiful and kind and cute and funny and just...perfect. Why did someone like him possibly like someone like me? I treasure him too much to risk what we already have. And for a while, I think that that's enough."

"And then today, I saw him hug another man like his life is depend on him. For the first time I feel jealous. I hate to see him being close with other people. And what I scared of is completely change. I scared to lose him to another person just because I'm too coward to be honest about my feeling for him. I also think that this person is deserved to know that he is loved. No matter what people said about him, for me he always been the most wonderful person in this world. And I want him to know that."

I stunned. He just stand there locking my eyes in his gaze. My mind feel blur. My heart's beat rapidly. Is he talking about me? He can't be right? P' Kim said that this person is beautiful and perfect and...that couldn't be me. But will it be wrong if I pray so hard so it would be me?

"P' Kim."

"Hmmm?"

"Who are you talking about?"

He snorted and flick my forehead.

"I take back what I said earlier. You ARE stupid."

I glared and about to protest but stopped when I feel P' Kim hand cupped my cheek. I feel my heart beating wildly when I looked up to meet his gaze. We're just standing there and stare at each other. He's standing so close that I can feel his warm breath in my face.  He move his gaze to my lips. 

"Can I kiss you?"

I didn't have time to think about his question when he suddenly start to kiss me. He move his lips slowly against mine. I'm too surprised to believe what is happening and just stand there completely stunned. But then he lick my lower lips in between his kisses and stroke my cheek gently. I gasped and he take the opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth. With that all my sanity is gone. I wrap my arm around his neck and he put his arm around my waist to pull me closer and kiss me deeper. His lips feel so warm and I can't help to let myself lost in his kiss. 

His lips taste much more beyond what I've always been imagine. It feels so sweet just like all the strawberry candy that he gave to me. Just like my feeling whenever he's around me. And yet I can taste a little bit bitterness from the cigarette that he smoke. Just like I feel when I missed him, and when I saw him sad, or when I thought that he'll never be mine. It's a perfect combination of sweetness and bitterness. Like Strawberry and Cigarettes. It taste heavenly. And it taste exactly just like him. 

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The End.

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