My Stories And Secrets

My Monster.

A snapshot of one of the rooms in my mind. A room I created. A room that controls me. A room that I cannot destroy...

Part 1: Save Me!

"You are nothing." Fingers bruise my arm.

"Stupid child!" The yell is so loud, my head hurts.

"You're lying, you're planning evil." The accusation cuts my heart.

"There is no escape from me." A hand flashes across my face. I begin to stumble back, but the vise-grip on my arm stops me painfully.

"Don't you dare speak a word of this to anyone.." The ringing in my ears and stinging on my face tells me what will happen if I do.

I decide to try anyway, for I cannot face another day like this. I tell my friends. They laugh. "You are just trying to get attention..." They say, calling me a liar and a faker. Now, suddenly my enemies are on all sides.

I pace all night, begging the God of my parents' to make me be sick. It was the only escape. I don't sleep, trying to ruin my health. I stick my finger down my throat, trying to make myself throw up. But I am unsucessfull.

NO! I need to be sick! I break into a cold sweat, shivering and wet as I watch the hours tick by. Every second feels like an hour, every hour like a minute. Dread builds in my stomach, I will it to become a stomach ache.

"What's wrong? What happened?" My mom asks, worry in her voice, an edge of strictness commanding me to tell her.

I stand there shivering, wrapping my arms around myself. I can't tell her. "I-I don't want to g-go to s-school." I stammer, voice reduced to a wimper. My throat hurts from holding back tears, but hold them back I must. Can't cry, can't show weakness.

By morning, my forehead is hot as a frying pan. I curl up on the couch, exhausted, but safe for now...