game over ❇ 'level up' trilogy

(8) tea spilled

"That's horrible..." Pidge mumbled.

Keith nodded, "I went to Millie after the assembly and apologized, I was a tiny bit drunk so my words were slurring and it was hard to speak. I told her there was no excuse for what I did, I also told her how Carson had been manipulating me. And she hugged me. She's the most forgiving person I've ever met. She cried and I kept hugging her. I knew comforting her wouldn't make up for all the hell we put her through but I figured it was a good start. It turns out she had started cutting herself because of the bullying. We just completely destroyed both of them. The next day the police came to school to question me, Cleo, Carson, and Seamus. They started with Carson and ended with me. Cyrin's parents were there. To start I told them I was a little high and that I was trying to get clean. They thanked me for my honesty. Then I admitted to everything we did to Millie and Cyrin. Then I told them how Carson kept me under his control and how I got out when I finally saw how bad it was getting. I was the only one who told the truth, the others denied everything. In the end, Cyrin's parents sued Cleo, Carson, and Seamus for causing his death. They also sued the school for not doing enough to prevent it. They didn't include me. But the school did expel me and I got moved to a group home for addicts. That's where I got clean. I haven't gone near drugs or alcohol since."

"Those three are the ones harassing you now, aren't they?" Shiro asked.

Keith nodded, "Yes. They're pissed they got sent to Juvy and I only got expelled. They say I'm to blame too and now it's my time to pay the price."

"Pay the price? What does that mean?" Lance asked.

Keith shrugged, "It was just on a card I found in my locker before lunch today. The card was in a bag full of pills... They broke into my locker and left it."

"Why didn't you say anything," Lance asked, "We need to tell Detective Anderson. You could be in danger."

"I didn't want you guys to find out what I did. I knew if I told you some of it I would have to tell you all of it," Keith put his face in his hands.

Pidge frowned, "Keith, what happened wasn't your fault. You were being manipulated, controlled, and abused. You didn't know what you were doing. If you knew, you would have never taken part in it. We all know you're a good person. If Millie could forgive you, then you should forgive yourself."

Keith kept his face hidden behind his hands, "It doesn't matter if I knew or not. I helped torture a boy to the point he took his own life. I did that, knowingly or not. I did it."

Lance wrapped his arms around Keith and pulled him close, "What you did in the past doesn't matter to me, all that matters is who you are now. Now, you are one of the kindest people I know. The kind of person who would go to the end of the Earth to prevent someone from committing suicide... Even if that meant keeping secrets and telling the occasional lie..."

Keith uncovered his face to see everyone nodding in agreement.

"It's a fact that you aren't yourself when you're intoxicated, that it pulls out the worst in people. You weren't yourself," Hunk said, "And on top of the intoxication, Carson was controlling you. You didn't kill Cyrin. It wasn't your fault."

Keith bit his lip, trying to keep himself from crying, "I know I was being controlled, I know it wasn't my fault. But I still did horrible things that cost Cyrin his life, and I have to carry that with me for the rest of my life."

Lance kissed Keith's cheek, "You don't have to carry it alone. You always support me, let me support you for a change."

Keith smiled at him, "I don't deserve you," he looked at the others, "Any of you."